The Journal
by Mia M. Turner
Summary: Sonny finds a journal with no name and slowly finds herself falling in love with the boy who wrote it. Meanwhile, Chad's true feelings for Sonny are coming out. Unfortunately, she is holding out for the boy in the journal. Channy.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **I'm praying this idea hasn't been used yet, because I was quite proud of myself for coming up with it, to be honest :P

You may be wondering at this point, 'What the heck is wrong with you?! Why are you starting a new multi-chapter story when you only have one chapter of All's Fair to go??'. Okay, maybe you aren't, but I swear, I'm a few mere paragraphs away from finishing it. I would do so tonight, but I have to be up early tomorrow for work. And watching a classroom of first graders is exhausting, so I need my sleep :P

Please enjoy this until then and above all, REVIEW. Reviews give me a little motivation to actually wake up in the morning so I can get into work ;)

Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Sonny With a Chance.

Sonny stretched her arms high above her head and yawned dramatically, eliciting an eyeroll from Tawni.

"You're pathetic."

Sonny crinkled her nose. "That rehearsal took twice as long as usual! I've been here since seven this morning and it's nearly eight. I'm sleepy..."

Tawni just scoffed at this. "Get used to it! We've been pulling all-nighters _long_ before you got here."

Sonny sighed, offering an eyeroll of her own. "Do you have to nit-pick? I was just yawning, sheesh..."

Tawni shrugged, not looking away from the mirror while she fixed her hair, as she addressed her. "So go home then. Don't stand around here forcing me to listen to you whine."

"I wasn't--!!" Sonny made a noise of frustration and folded her arms over her chest. There was no arguing with Tawni, so she decided not to waste her breath. Instead, she grabbed her jacket and messenger bag, slinging them over her shoulder. "I'll see you tomorrow, then..."

Sonny lingered for a moment, waiting for a response. She sighed heavily and left the room when she received none.

She hurried down the hall when she heard the faint sound of thunder outside the studio. She would have to hurry if she wanted to beat the rain home. In her hurry, she collided full on with someone walking in the opposite direction.

She fell back and landed with an 'oof!' before sitting up to rub her head.

"Oh my gosh, I am _so_ sorry, I-I didn't mean to--" Sonny froze mid-sentence when she realized just who she'd ran into.

Chad Dylan Cooper.

The _last_ person she ever wanted to run into.

She bit down on her lower lip as she surveyed his appearance. The papers he'd apparently been holding were scattered on the floor around them and he held his arms out incredulously, a look on his face that suggested Sonny was the scum of the earth.

"M-My fault, Chad...", she managed. "I was kind of in a hurry and--"

"_Obviously,_" he interrupted, his voice dripping with venom, more so than usual. Sonny cringed slightly, leaning over to pick up the papers scattered around. At a glance, they appeared to be the pages to a script. Faltering under his glare, she pulled herself up onto shaky legs and held the papers out to him. She jumped when he rudely snatched them from her.

"Maybe watch where you're going next time, Munroe," he spat. Sonny opened her mouth, willing words to come out. She was usually confident and always had a quick comeback when it came to Chad, but she'd never seen him quite _this_ vicious. It was making her rather nervous.

"I-I... I-I'm sorry Chad, I--"

Rather than answering her, Chad simply pushed past her, causing her to stumble back slightly.

Sonny continued to stare forward into the empty hallway. Her throat tightened. Her hands shook. And then she did something she hadn't done since she'd moved to Hollywood.

She cried.

Why, she wasn't quite sure. It wasn't anything new that Chad was being an inconsiderate jerk. Somehow though, his words and actions stung more than usual today. She wiped her eyes, calming herself down with deep, even breaths. A little sleep was all she needed, she decided. She was just tired and not thinking rationally... That _had_ to be it.

Sonny walked ahead and pushed the doors to the studio open, sighing at the pouring rain she had been trying to race.

Pulling the hood of her jacket over her head, Sonny walked carefully down the steps, trying desperately not to slip on the water.

Her efforts were in vain.

Sonny gasped as she lost her footing on something wet and slippery, her back colliding roughly with the concrete steps beneath her. She bit back a sob that threatened to return. With some effort, she carefully sat up, reaching a hand behind her to rub her lower back gently. She glanced over at the object she'd slipped on. It appeared to be a book of some sort.

Raising an eyebrow, she leaned forward and picked it up. She turned it over in her hands, examining it. There was nothing particularly extraordinary about it. Perhaps the only interesting thing about the book was that the binding was made of a flimsy leather material. A strip of it seemed to have been ripped off the bottom, acting now as a strap that was tied tightly around the book, keeping it shut.

Sonny looked up, wondering who it could possibly belong to. She stood up when she saw a cast member of Mackenzie Falls walking out to the parking lot.

"Um, excuse me! I-I think you dropped this!"

The boy turned around at the sound of her voice. He eyed her up and down for a moment before curling his lip in disgust. "I don't talk to Randoms. But if I did, I'd tell you I wouldn't be caught dead with whatever that is."

Sonny sighed as he continued walking forward. "A simple 'it's not mine' would have sufficed," she muttered to herself. She examined the book again, searching for a name. She sighed when she found none. The last thing she wanted to do was open it, in case something private was inside. It seemed she had no other option though, if she wanted to return it to it's owner. She gently tugged at the knot binding the book shut, carefully tucking the strap away in her pocket.

Sonny cautiously thumbed through the pages. It appeared to be a journal of some sort. There were pages upon pages of handwritten entries inside. She noted it was about half full. Whoever lost this was probably missing it, that was quite a bit of writing. Sonny heaved another sigh as she turned to the first page in hopes of finding a name.

A flash of lightning reminded her that this wasn't exactly the time, nor place to do any more investigating. Safely tucking the book under her jacket, Sonny ran down the sidewalk as fast as she could.

---

Sonny smiled as the smell of hot chocolate drifted to her nose when she closed the door behind her. Her mother was always ready with special treats on gloomy days like this. Nearly forgetting about the journal, Sonny took a step forward, ready to make a mad dash for the kitchen.

"_HOLD IT_!", came her mother's voice from the other room. "Don't you take one step into my kitchen with those dripping wet clothes, Sonny Munroe!"

Sonny wrinkled her nose in annoyance. How did she know? She sighed, kicking her shoes off by the door and carefully removing her socks before she ran up the stairs to her room. She was relieved, minutes later, to be in dry, warm clothes, fresh out of the dryer. She walked back over to her bed, lifting her jacket up to hang it up over the shower rack in her bathroom. She jumped back when something heavy fell out of it, landing on the floor with a dull thud.

The journal. She'd nearly forgotten all about it.

Sonny kneeled down slowly and picked it up. She turned to the front page again, searching for a name.

Nothing.

Perhaps they'd written their name in the _back_ of the book? She quickly flipped to the last page and scanned over it. Nothing. Whoever owned this book wasn't making it easy on her. Sonny frowned, wondering if she should...

No. That would be extremely dishonest. Journals are private, she chastised herself, and reading it would be incredibly immoral.

'Take it back, Sonny,' she thought to herself. 'Take it back to the studio, throw it in the lost and found bin, and let someone claim it.' The more she thought about it though, the more she didn't like the idea. Even if she wouldn't read it, surely someone else would. What if someone found it in the box before the owner did and was tempted to read it? Worse still, what if _Chad_ found it in there?

The poor owner would never hear the end of it from him.

She sighed, her eyes resting on the first paragraph. The owner of this book couldn't possibly mind if she read just _one_ page in order to find out who they were. They would probably be grateful that Sonny was able to get it back to them, no matter how she did.

Just one page, she told herself. One page only. She rushed over to her desk, pulling out a pen and paper to write down any clues she might get from the writing. Turning on the lamp, she sat the book on her desk and began reading.

"_This is so stupid. I mean really, _really_ stupid. I hate journals, but mom's forcing me to write in this stupid thing. I mean, do you know what my grandparents got me for my Sweet Sixteen this year? A BMW. You know what Mom got me? This stupid journal. Nice."_

Sonny paused to write down some notes on her notepad. So far she knew two things: the person was sixteen, and they must be pretty well off, if their grandparents were able to get them a car like a BMW. She quickly jotted this down before continuing reading.

"_She says I need a more constructive place to let out my feelings. Fantastic. Wanna know what I'm feeling right now, Mom? Annoyed as hell. What's a guy gotta do to get his own freaking _mother_ off his back??"_

Sonny wrote on her notepad again. So the owner was a male, and it seemed he didn't get along with his mother all that fantastically.

"_Yea, Mom's not one to talk at all. After all, she's the one who..._"

And that was the end of the page. Sonny's eyes widened. No, wait! What did his mother do? Why didn't she have room to talk? What the heck was going on??

Sonny sighed, forcing herself to shut the book. She promised herself she'd only read a page and that was that. She pushed the book aside and scanned her notes.

"_16. Male. Probably rich. Doesn't get along with mom._"

That wasn't a whole lot to go off of, she realized with a grimace. So far that could be attributed to nearly every boy that worked at the studio. The angel on one shoulder demanded that she try to work with what she had. The devil on her other shoulder insisted that that simply wasn't enough information to narrow down an owner. It was quite the struggle, but she eventually came to a decision.

"One entry," she told herself, thinking out loud. "Just one entry, and then I can find out who it belongs to for sure." Sonny quickly reached for the book, turning it to the second page.

"..._'can't get her aggressions out properly' as she says. Yea, coming home every night and yelling at the top of your lungs before shutting yourself in your office and ignoring your only son sure is a great way to do that._"

So he was an only child. That didn't help much, but it at least narrowed down the suspects by a small amount.

"_So that's the deal. Mom buys me a freaking journal for my birthday, and to add insult to injury, she forces me to write in it. So no way am I putting names or specifics in this stupid thing. If someone found it, knowing who I am, I could possibly drop dead instantly. No, I know who I am so why should I go giving out details? I dunno, I'm rambling now. I guess I don't really know what to write since no one will ever see this and I'm just talking to myself. How utterly retarded. Thanks for making things that much more difficult for me, Mom. -2/17/09"_

Sonny sighed in annoyance. No specifics? Way to make things complicated. She took note of the date though, February of this year. That meant that she at least was certain he was still 16. She couldn't be sure of his birthday though. Was this written the day of his birthday? Or months after when his mom finally forced him to write in it? It didn't narrow down the possibilities very much.

Sonny jumped again when she heard her mother calling her from downstairs, informing her that her hot chocolate was getting cold. Sonny made a face before tucking the journal safely under her bed.

Whatever she decided to do with it would have to wait until after a mug of hot chocolate and a good night's sleep.

---

Please review :) Gives me incentive to get this stuff out quicker.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**: Hey peeps, sorry this took so long! :/ Since work started again it seems there aren't enough hours in the day to do anything! I'll still try to churn these things out faster though.

For those of you that asked what I do, I am a first grade parapro :P Basically a teacher's assistant but with a little more responsibility. I've got a quite ways to go til I get my Early Childhood Education degree, but I'm almost halfway done, woohoo :)

The response on this story has been absolutely overwhelming!! Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. As I mentioned in another story, reviews give me the motivation to put out stories without putting limitations on myself. Please know that not ONE of your reviews falls on deaf ears. Each and every one means a lot to me. I wish I had the time to thank everyone individually.

HorriblyAddicted, your review made me laugh :P Thanks, haha.

Enjoy!

---

Sonny sunk farther into her chair as she noticed the Mackenzie Falls cast strutting confidently into the commissary. After her exchange with Chad the night before, she _really_ didn't want to talk to him.

Her castmates threw her a few confused glances. Sonny just ignroed them, hoping to make herself invisible until everyone sat down. She let out a quick shriek and bolted upright when she felt a pair of arms wrap around her. She turned her head to see who had snuck up on her.

"..._Chad_??"

Chad smirked down at her. "The one and only."

Sonny frowned. "Let go of me, I'm mad at you," she informed him with a pout.

"Come on Sunshine, you can't _seriously_ tell me you can stay mad at _this_ face," he answered, squeezing her tighter.

Sonny's jaw dropped. Just last night he was being a bigger jerk than usual and now he was _flirting_ with her? She looked back up at him and scowled.

"I told you to let go of me," she repeated through gritted teeth.

"Or maybe you need a little convincing?", Grady spoke up from the other side of the table, standing up with Nico. Sonny had almost forgotten they were even there. Chad rolled his eyes, letting go of Sonny and holding his hands up defensively.

"Sheesh, you try to be nice..."

"_Nice_?" Sonny cut in. "What was _wrong_ with you last night? I've never seen you like that! That was _uncharacteristically _ cruel, even for you."

Chad's smirk quickly transformed into a frown at this. He stood up straight and began fixing his tie. Sonny had been around long enough to learn that this was his nervous tick.

"Nothing. I was just tired. And even if there was something wrong, it would be none of your business, would it?"

Sonny gave an eye roll of her own. "Sorry I asked."

She turned to sit forward in her chair again as she heard Chad heave a sigh. She noted, with annoyance, that he hadn't left yet. She reeled back in surprise when he kneeled down to her eye level.

"Listen, Sonny... I'm... I'm sorry, okay?" Every word sounded very forced, and in fact it seemed as though it pained him very much to say it, but he still _said_ it.

Sonny raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

Chad nodded, giving her a pat on the shoulder before rubbing it gently. Despite her efforts to resist the charm he was obviously laying on her, Sonny found herself being drawn into those bright blue eyes. She leaned forward slightly when he placed his fingers under her chin.

"After all, I'm sure you won't ever go stomping down the hall like Godzilla again after that little incident."

That immediately shook Sonny out of her daze. She _despised_ him when he did that. He always found a way to draw her in, only to go and say something hurtful again. And it was definitely starting to take it's toll on her. In fact, Sonny wasn't sure she could hold in what she was feeling much longer. She felt her face burn with anger and her fists clench as Chad turned to say something to one of his castmates that had them both laughing. What was said, Sonny didn't know or care. She slammed her hands on the table before standing up to face him. She noted, with a bit of surprise, that Chad seemed genuinely unnerved by this.

"_I... am... so... SICK OF YOU!!_", she shrieked, making the room instantly fall silent. For once, she didn't mind that all eyes were glued to her and Chad. "What is your _problem_?", she continued. "Do you think it's _funny_ to get a girl's hopes up every day and then beat them back down? Do you think it's all a big joke to make someone think you like them, only to go and treat them like the dirt beneath your shoes?"

Chad glanced around the room nervously, not enjoying the attention for once. He had to find a way to turn this all back on Sonny... He gave her a nervous, but prominent smirk.

"Actually Sunshine, I believe _you're_ the one who's screaming in a crowded cafeteria. You're not exactly one to be asking _me_ what _my _ problem is."

Sonny's hands shook and she took a step towards him. "One day, Chad, you're gonna hurt someone who really doesn't need it. Someone who's got a lot going on in their life, someone who--"

"What," Chad interrupted, "You gonna pull the 'dead dad' card on me now?"

Sonny froze in her spot, her eyes widening. The sound of "ooh"'s from the onlookers filled the room. Chad immediately realized his mistake. Though with all the eyes on him, he couldn't exactly show that. So he kept the smirk on his face. He never in a million years expected Sonny to do what she did next.

She raised her hand and smacked him clear across the face.

The silence in the room became evident as the sound echoed off the walls. No one seemed to be sure of what to say or do, especially the casts of the rival shows. Sonny and Chad faced each other for a moment, with shocked expressions to match. When Sonny's eyes began filling with tears, she turned on her heel and stormed out of the cafeteria.

Chad slowly raised a hand and rested it on his cheek, watching her slam the door behind her. He realized there was no way to leave the room and make himself look good. Dropping his hands in defeat, he made a beeline for the door. He didn't realize anyone was following him until he'd made it outside, as everyone still in the cafeteria began buzzing.

Portlyn grabbed Chad's arm before he could go any further. "What are you _doing_?", she asked incredulously. "I hate So Random as much as anyone else around here, _including_ Sonny, but... Chad, 'low' isn't you... Y-You're supposed to not care what people think of you, not make them _cry..._"

Chad ran a nervous hand through his hair. When _Portlyn_ of all people was telling him he'd gone too far, it was evident there was a problem. Chad leaned back against the wall and rubbed his temples, feeling a headache coming on. "I just need a second to think, alright?"

Portlyn sighed heavily, walking back into the cafeteria.

Chad thrusted his hands in pockets and headed back for his dressing room. He had to do a lot of thinking and planning if he wanted to make this right again.

---

Sonny stormed into her and Tawni's dressing room, slamming the door behind her and immediately flopping face-down onto the couch as sobs overcame her. She was glad no one had followed her. A little peace and quiet and a good cry was all she needed at the moment. She lifted her head to wipe her eyes. She continued choking and crying as she reached over to her bag, pulling the journal she'd found the night before out.

She opened it to the third page, no longer caring that she was butting into the author's personal life. Though she wasn't exactly sure why she wanted to read more right now in the first place. Maybe she just wanted something to take her mind off of Chad's words? Or maybe she'd been hoping there would be _some_ sort of nugget of wisdom, some sort of comforting gesture that would remind her that not all people were as cruel as he was. She flipped onto her back, resting the book upwards on her stomach. She let out another quick choke as she started reading.

"_I gotta say, the people around me are _really_ starting to drive me up the wall._" Sonny snorted. 'I'll say', she thought to herself. "_People can be... I dunno... Unnecessarily cruel sometimes. Anyone who knows me well would say I'm not one to talk, but... Come on... I know I can hurt people's feeling's sometimes, but I never _try_ to be cruel. The people around me... Geez. They hurt other people, and they're proud of it. And not just my friends. Mom and Dad fit that bill quite nicely._"

Sonny frowned slightly, more tears falling down her cheeks. It seemed more and more that he wasn't just whining about his parents. It sounded like they just weren't very nice people...

"_I seriously doubt they understand what I go through all day, but I guess that's because they don't listen. And it's not like they ever _will_ know because Mom won't read this. She'll sure yell at me to write in it, but to actually take the time to get to know me better? No way. Not really much more to say... Short entry but I guess I just needed to rant a little bit. It's kinda rough when no one else will listen. I just wanna write down this little gem I found before I forget it..._

_'Always be kinder than necessary. You never know what kind of burden someone is carrying.'"_

Sonny sighed and closed the book, hugging it tightly to her chest. The words echoed in her head.

_You never know what kind of burden someone is carrying..._

Sonny's first instinct was to be selfish: Chad should have been kinder than necessary, because he just didn't know what she was going through.

Much to her displeasure, however, her typical 'sunny' side came out.

Suddenly she felt extremely guilty for snapping at Chad, and even worse, hitting him. How could she be sure he wasn't facing anything right now? True, he hadn't been very nice to her, but how could she expect him to be kinder than necessary when she wasn't, herself?

Sonny sighed, sitting up and placing the journal down next to her. She decided an apology was in order. She looked down at the book next to her and smiled. She kissed the tip of her hand and placed it on the book. Whoever wrote it was proving to have quite the useful things to say so far.

---

Typical Sonny, being way too nice :P

We'll start seeing what's got Chad being more jerky than usual soon.

Please Review :)


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**: Sorry this took so long, guys. You would not believe how much I kept getting distracted while writing this. I was so busy at work all week until I stayed home sick on Friday. I was so miserable I couldn't even write. Felt better today and sat down with the computer at about 3ish. It's nearly 1 in the morning now, and this chapter isn't even that long. Pretty pathetic of me :P I blame Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, and instant messenger :P

Did anyone else see the vid of Demi crying at her show last night? :( God love her, I cried when I saw it. I wish I'd been there. But her show on the 9th was amazing and I'll never forget it :) It just went by so fast. If you get a chance, congratulate her on her Twitter. She's so amazing and deserves all the great things that are happening for her.

Anywho, thanks for the reviews everyone. They mean so much to me! Keep it up please! :)

---

Sonny jumped up from her spot and made a dash for the door. She turned the doorknob and began to run out of the room. She collided with someone else opening the door at the same time.

"Hey, watch it!" came a familiar voice. Sonny sighed, rubbing one arm as she hung her head.

"Yea... Thanks Chad," she mumbled. She suddenly remembered why she hadn't really wanted to apologize to him in the first place. This jerkier-than-usual thing _really_ wasn't working for her. Chad sighed in what Sonny assumed to be annoyance and gently took her elbow. She noted that he kept his other arm suspiciously behind his back.

"Does it hurt?" he asked.

Sonny grimaced, not wanting to fall into his trap again. She violently jerked her arm away from him.

"I'm not answering. You'll probably just insult me again like earlier."

Chad rolled his eyes. "You're _way_ overreacting, Sonny."

Sonny's hands shook as she glowered at him. "You accused me of using my _dead father_ as an excuse to get you to leave me alone," she answered in a disturbingly quiet tone. Chad took a step towards her, ready to shoot a comeback at her, but thought better of it. Instead, he nervously scratched the back of his neck.

"Y-You're right... That was way out of line..."

"You're _darn right_ it was--" Sonny stopped mid-sentence when she realized what he'd said. It didn't even sound forced this time, he sounded.... _genuinely_ apologetic. Sonny nervously fiddled with her fingers before hanging her heard. "...I... I-I guess it's okay..." she mumbled. Chad had to admit, he was rather surprised by this. He knew Sonny was exceedingly sweet to nearly everyone she met, but he couldn't just let her be a doormat.

"T-That's nice of you and all, Sonny, but what I did can't exactly be fixed by just an apology--"

"It was genuine," Sonny interrupted. "That's all I need." She flashed him a brilliant smile, as if to prove her point.

Chad couldn't help but give back a weak smile at the sweet little girl in front of him. Sonny was so naive sometimes... He couldn't decide if that bothered him or if he found it adorable.

He sighed before speaking up again. "I guess you won't be wanting these, then?"

Sonny's eyes widened slightly when he pulled a bouquet of sunflowers out from behind his back.

"Chad, what is this?" she asked in disbelief.

Chad shrugged. "I guess I thought you'd need a little convincing to forgive me."

Sonny smiled as she reached out and took the flowers from him. "They're beautiful Chad, but... Even when you're acting like your normal self, you're never this nice..."

"Well," he offered, "I've been uncharacteristically mean to you this week, so now I can be uncharacteristically nice."

Sonny carefully hugged the bouquet to herself before pressing further. "Well as long as you're in a better mood right now, mind telling me what's got you so up in arms this week?"

Chad's smile slid right off his face and he began to nervously fix his tie again. "Nothing, nobody. I'm worried about-- personal matters. Yea."

"Complete sentences would help," Sonny answered. Chad simply cleared his throat.

"Just... Sorry, Sonny. Okay? It's been a rough week," he responded, hoping to change the subject. Sonny smiled, deciding to drop it. She didn't feel like questioning him to the point that she'd ruin his rare good mood.

"Fair enough," she said with a sigh. "They're beautiful, it was really sweet of you. You didn't have to--"

"Could I take you to dinner or something?"

Sonny only stared at him for a moment, certain she'd misheard him. Not only was it completely off the subject, but there was no way _Chad_ was asking her out.

"I-- Pardon?"

Chad nervously shifted his weight from foot to foot. "I just, you know, I feel bad, and--"

"Are you seriously asking me on a date?" Chad was surprised to find that she seemed rather angry about this.

"No, not a date... Just... two friends grabbing a bite to eat. That's all I meant--"

Sonny held a hand up to stop him. "Save it, Chad. After being such a jerk this week, you're out of your mind if you think I'm accepting that offer."

Chad groaned in annoyance, deciding to shift gears. He'd forgotten that Sonny wasn't exactly like all the other girls he'd asked out. She wasn't desperately falling all over him and didn't move as fast as the others. In fact, it seemed she liked to move agonizingly _slow_.

"Okay, I guess I deserved that... How about... Coffee? At the Café on Friday, after our shift's over. I'll buy you a latte. That better?" he asked, not bothering to hide his annoyance. Sonny sighed.

"You almost had me until that last part."

Chad rolled his eyes and took another step forward, placing a hand on her shoulder. He wasn't sure why, but it seemed Sonny was always more inclined to listen to him when he was touching her.

"Will you please let me buy you a coffee Friday night?" he asked in the sweetest voice he could possibly muster.

Sonny had to admit, it was rather sweet. He was desperate enough to not argue or talk back to her, and in fact was even trying to please her. She could definitely get used to that. She smirked slightly, lifting her hand to take his off her shoulder.

"That charm stuff isn't going to work on me, Chad. Nice try, though."

Chad sighed and ran his other hand down her arm, hoping to get a more positive response out of her time time. "Can I take that as a yes?"

Sonny smiled, desperately trying to deny the fact that his charm was now working.

"We'll see," she answered before turning on her heel and walking away. Once she was around the corner, she danced all the way back to the prop room.

After all, both her and Chad _knew _they'd both be there.

---

Sonny sat on the small couch in her dressing room, reading the leather-bound journal she'd recently become obsessed with. She couldn't get enough of it. She'd become so engrossed in it, she'd often forget that it was someone's actual life and not a novel. Tawni often walked in on her while she was reading. Every time she would scoff, telling Sonny she was obsessed with that 'stupid book'. Sonny would just shrug her off. Maybe she _was_ obsessed. She didn't mind too much, though. Somehow, she no longer cared that she was invading his privacy. She felt like she was getting to know a good friend. She loved finding out little tidbits of information about him, not only because it further convinced her that she was only reading on to determine an owner, but because it was that much more she knew about the boy she felt like she'd befriended, despite not actually knowing who he was.

She smiled, thinking over all the little things she'd learned about him from the entries she'd read over the last couple of days.

He hated kids, but he liked animals. Mondays drove him up the wall, but he liked Fridays more than Saturdays. He lived in Los Angeles almost his entire life, but he'd never been to Disneyland. Sonny giggled slightly at the thought. Imagine, living so close to the Happiest Place on Earth and never going there... She decided she'd _have_ to convince him to go when she got the journal back to him. She sighed, looking up at the ceiling, imagining what he would look like. She pictured a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with green eyes. She imagined his expression when she handed him the journal. He'd thank her profusely and ask her what he could do to make it up to her. Sonny would then give him a flirty giggle and--

Wait...

Sonny stopped herself and shook her head. She wasn't sure where that last part had come from, but she convinced herself that she had just gotten carried away. She tried to think about meeting Chad later tonight. She couldn't deny that she was actually extremely excited about seeing him...

As a friend of course.

Sonny smiled, turning the page to the next entry in the journal.

"_So one of the trending topics on Twitter today was 'what do you look for in a girl?'. I clicked on it to see what other guys were saying. The answers seemed to mostly consist of 'must be hot' and 'must be able to cook'. Charming, right? Am I the only guy who thinks the answer to that question should be 'whatever the girl wants'? Yea, what do I want in a girl? Someone who's real. I'm tired of fakers. I think I've encountered enough of them in my lifetime. I want, first and foremost, a girl who can be herself. And once she's able to do that, there's no reason guys should be expecting anything else out of her. I guess what I'm trying to say is my ideal girl would be one that I can give all the love and respect she _deserves_. Complicated as that sounds. Then again, what hasn't been complicated about everything I've written in here? Later._"

Sonny sighed deeply, closing the book and hugging it to her chest. She laid back on the couch and stared up at the ceiling again. He was so sweet and romantic... She pictured herself being the girl he was talking about. She wondered what it would be like to have a guy like him. He would be so caring and gentle... Not like _Chad_.

Sonny bolted upright in her spot at this.

No... She was _not_ falling in love with the boy in this journal... How _could_ she be? She'd never even met him! She nervously glanced at the clock. She had to meet Chad in five minutes. She got up and paced back and forth nervously. Suddenly, she wasn't so excited about meeting up with Chad. Now the thought made her stomach turn. She held her head as she tried to gather her thoughts. She was officially getting _way_ too obsessed with this journal. She quickly threw it into her bag and zipped it up, deciding she needed a break from it. Even having the journal out of sight didn't help the fact that she wasn't thrilled about meeting up with Chad now. And for what? Because this unnamed boy who wrote this lost journal was a more appealing guy than Chad?

Sonny held her arms and sat back down on the couch, hanging her head. She couldn't go now, she decided. It would be way too awkward, and how would she explain herself when he noticed? 'Sorry Chad, but I'm in love with a guy and I don't even know his name'? Sonny shook her head and laid down, curling up into a ball. It was no big deal, right? After all, Sonny _had_ said 'maybe'. She never told Chad she'd be there. Sonny tried to dwell on this thought as a tear fell down her face. She closed her eyes and attempted to sooth herself to sleep, hoping a nap would clear her head.

Meanwhile, Chad sat in the coffee shop, brand new heart-shaped locket in hand, checking his watch.

---

Review please :)


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Ohmigosh you guys, 100 reviews for just 3 chapters?! I'm not worthy! You are all so amazing, thank you so much. Please keep it up! I love you all!!

I hope this chapter doesn't defer anyone from that :P I feel like this one is pretty weak compared to the others, but... We'll see. I hope you enjoy anyway.

Someone asked me if the story is almost over. Believe it or not, the story is actually just barely getting off it's feet, so no, we're nowhere close to done :P

Please enjoy, guys :) And REVIEW!!

---

Sonny laughed loudly at a particularly funny joke Grady had just told. She smiled, looking around the table at all her friends. Everyone was laughing and enjoying themselves... It was the one thing that made working on Saturdays okay with her. She sighed contently as she continued picking at her food. Today was was going as smoothly as it could possibly go.

The sound of someone yelling behind her made her realize she'd spoken too soon. She turned around to see what all the fuss was about. Her eyes widened and she gulped when she saw Chad. It appeared he was reaming on a kid from another show for being in his favorite spot. The poor guy looked absolutely horrified and moved right away. Chad angrily flopped down in his seat, opening a copy of Tween Weekly and slumping in his chair to read it.

Sonny nervously faced forward again. There was no way _she_ could be the cause of his mood today, right? Sonny tried desperately to perish the thought. She and Chad didn't even like each other, why would it bother him that she hadn't shown up? And anyway, she never really said she'd be there. Chad probably didn't even show up anyway... Whatever had been bugging him all week must have just really gotten to him, that _had_ to be it.

Sonny pretended to listen to her castmates as she continued picking at her plate. She yelped in surprise when someone put a hand on her shoulder, yanking her around to face them. She was about to protest, but held her tongue out of fear when she saw Portlyn glaring down at her.

"Um... H-Hey Portlyn!" Sonny offered, trying not to show how nervous she was. Portlyn only gripped her shoulder tighter.

"Shut up. You've got some nerve, Munroe."

Sonny closed her eyes tightly. She had a feeling she knew what was coming next.

"I don't think you get just what you did to that poor guy. I don't care _what_ he said to you last week, that's no reason to _stand him up,_" Portlyn snapped.

Sonny sunk farther into her seat, hoping to not gather any attention to them. "I didn't stand him up. I never told him I'd be there," she mumbled.

"Don't be stupid. You knew he was gonna be there. Besides, the _least_ you coulda done was let him know you didn't want to go." Sonny bit her lip and continued staring forward, now refusing to say a word. She tried to hide how uncomfortable she became when Portlyn leaned down next to her to whisper in her ear. "If you're smart, you'll _keep_ away. Chad's _mine_. He deserves better than someone who blows him off all the time."

Noticing that the color was draining out of her face, Nico and Grady stood up. "Okay Porty, I think it's time you went back to your table," Grady informed her. Sonny mouthed her thanks to them as Portlyn stood up and narrowed her eyes.

"Hey, she's messing with _my_ castmate. I have every right to come over here and keep her in check."

"Well then," Nico answered, starting to walk to the table Chad was sitting at, "I guess that gives _us_ the right to keep _your _castmate in check."

Sonny's eyes widened and she immediately rushed after the two. "No wait, guys, please! I-I know you're trying to help, but please, _please_ don't make it worse--"

"Hey, _CHAD_," Too late. Sonny nervously buried her hands in her hair as Chad sunk farther in his seat, clearly trying to ignore them. "We heard about what happened last night."

No comment...

"A certain something involving you and Sonny?"

Still no answer...

"Why don't you man up and apologize to Sonny for putting her through this?"

That got his attention. Chad slammed his magazine down on the table and stood up. "Excuse me? For putting _her_ through this?! Your perfect little Sonny stood me up last night and _I_ need to apologize?"

"I never said I'd be there," she reminded him, muttering nervously. She jumped slightly when he whirled around to face her.

"What the hell is _that_ supposed to mean?! You _knew _I'd be there. It was no secret, Sonny. Just be honest; why didn't you show up?" Sonny hesitated, faltering under his intense gaze. Chad growled slightly under his breath after a slight pause. "No comment. Nice, Sonny. Real nice."

Sonny frowned and looked down at the ground as she spoke.

"I don't like you," she said. "And you don't like me. So I don't see why it's such a big deal. We just _don't_ like each other; it's always been that way... So if you were trying to coerce me into going on a date with you, I can't say I'm sorry that it backfired on you."

Chad's expression became blank at this (although Sonny could swear she could see a bit of hurt in his eyes), before he became angry again.

"I hate you, Sonny. I really, seriously, truly hate you. You're so below me, it's a wonder I ever tried to ask you out at all. Sorry for trying to get involved in your oh-so-perfect life," he snapped. Nico and Grady stood ready to jump in when Chad took a step towards her. "Get over yourself. You're _nothing_ to me, Sonny Munroe. _Nothing_. Thanks for playing, Sugar," he finished, pinching her cheek before storming out of the cafeteria.

Sonny didn't bother to look back at him as he left. She blinked back the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes. She was positively sick of this constant banter between her and Chad. What had she done to deserve such hurtful words? All she did was tell the truth; she never told him she'd be there and she definitely didn't like him. He knew that, didn't he? Why did he act like he cared all of the sudden?

...Surely he didn't like _her_?

Sonny held her head as she turned to storm back to her dressing room. Chad was the last thing she wanted to think about now. She stomped down the hall, straight past Chad's dressing room, where he was violently throwing the box that contained Sonny's locket into a drawer and slamming it shut. Out of sight, out of mind.

---

Sonny carefully picked the journal up off the couch before falling onto her back and staring up at the ceiling. She gently traced her fingers along the leather binding. She bit back tears as she hugged it close to her chest. She hated Chad. She _hated_ him.

"Stupid Chad," she mumbled to herself. "Stupid Chad and his stupid mind games... Who does he think he is..."

She sighed heavily, accidently letting a few tears escape. She stood the journal up on her stomach and stared at it. Maybe Chad had done her a favor... She was no longer conflicted on her feelings for him. It was clear that the boy who wrote this journal was a much better guy than Chad. He probably would have understood why Sonny didn't show up for the date and forgive her right away. He would have never yelled at her the way Chad did...

Sonny sighed again, placing her hand flat on the cover. She wished she knew the boy's name. He made her feel safe, loved, and calm, and they'd never even met before. At least, that's what she figured. She still couldn't narrow the owner down to any one boy in the studio. At least, whoever he was, he was still a sweetie.

Sonny smiled weakly and opened the book to the last spot she left off at.

The first line she read wasn't exactly the pick-me-up she was looking for.

"_For the very first time in my life, my dad hit me today._"

Sonny's eyes widened and she gasped, nearly dropping the journal. She sat up straight as she read the rest.

"_I dunno, I _guess_ you could say I deserved it. I've been really busy with things outside of work lately and that didn't go over so well with Mom. I told her she wasn't being fair and she told me to not talk back to her. So I made the oh-so-smart choice of telling her that I could do what I wanted, and BAM. Apparently Dad had been listening. So now there's this huge bruise on my back and it hurts like you wouldn't believe. Neither of them have come in to apologize yet. I'm not sure how to feel... Being sad isn't really my thing. I will say though, I hope the day'll come soon when Mom and Dad will actually love me again."_

Sonny's hands shook as she gripped the book tighter, tears now freely falling down her face. She sat up and hugged the book to her chest as she tightly shut her eyes. She wanted to help him so bad. She wanted to give him a hug and tell him everything would be just fine... Too bad she didn't even know who he was.

Sonny wiped her eyes as a choke escaped her throat.

She loved him very much, but he certainly wasn't improving her already-awful day.

---

Really short one, but we'll start getting into the meat of the story next chapter :P

Please review :)


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** I have only one thing to say: I'm so glad I'm done with this chapter because I'm EXHAUSTED.

Since I'm exhausted, there might be a few minor errors, or you might think this chapter is a little rushed... I'll fix it tomorrow morning if I deem it in need of fixing. Enjoy!

---

Sonny sighed contently as the pair of strong arms wrapped around her shoulders pulled her closer. She smiled as he lifted a hand up and gently ran his fingers through her hair. She rested her head on his shoulder and took in everything she could... The sound of his breathing, the smell, his heartbeat... She felt like there was nowhere she could possibly fit better.

She closed her eyes and grinned widely when he leaned forward to place a soft kiss on her forehead. She shivered slightly when he whispered 'I love you' in her ear. Grinning ear to ear, she lifted her head to look into the gorgeous eyes of--

"Chad?!"

Sonny bolted upright in her bed and glanced around the dark room. After a few deep breaths, she took in what had just happened.

"Just a dream," she muttered to herself.

But why had she been dreaming about _Chad_? She didn't like him. Even in her dream, she had been silently hoping that the boy holding her was the one who wrote the journal... In fact, she was _certain_ it was him. She probably would have screamed in surprise upon realizing it was Chad, had she not woken up just then.

Sonny frowned as she laid back down on her pillow. She should have been _way_ more disgusted by that dream than she actually was... Shaking the possibility off of actually _enjoying_ the thought, Sonny heaved a sigh and tried to get back to sleep.

To her frustration, she couldn't seem to put her mind at rest. Every half hour she'd wake up from another dream. Sometimes it was about the tall, dark-haired green-eyed boy she imagined the journal's author to be, other times it would be Chad. If she was really unlucky, she'd dream about helplessly watching the boy be violently beaten by his parents.

Sonny groaned and held her head when what seemed like the 100th dream that night ended. The inconstancy of her dreams wasn't exactly helping her situation.

---

Sonny yawned and hung her head as she sat on the small couch in the prop room. She glanced over at the clock, which now read 9:30 PM. She sighed, thinking about all the work she still had to do. She knew her mother would be wondering where she was, but she couldn't just take off; she'd gotten absolutely nothing done the entire day. That was mostly the journal's fault...

And Chad's...

Chad certainly wasn't as explosive as he was the day before, but it was clear he was still in a particularly foul mood. He and Sonny had spent most of the day completely avoiding each other, sometimes even taking the long way to rehearsals and risking being late, to ensure they wouldn't run into each other. The only time they had no choice in seeing each other was lunchtime. Portlyn had been hanging off of his arm the entire time.

Not that Sonny cared, of course.

...Right?

Right. If Portlyn wanted him, she decided, she could have him. She was holding out for the sweet, thoughtful, perfect guy that wrote the journal. She smiled a bit at the thought. Once they got to know each other a little more, he'd help her out. More importantly he'd protect her from _Chad_. Once she found this perfect mystery guy, Chad's mind games wouldn't bother her anymore because she would be so deeply in love...

The goofy grin on her face slid right off when she heard his voice from the doorway.

"Sonny? What on earth are you still doing here?"

Sonny cringed slightly, wrinkling her nose and looking up to speak to him.

"Get out," she spat. "This isn't your stage."

Chad rolled his eyes. "Pardon _me_. I really shouldn't care about you since you're an inconsiderate little--" he scrunched his nose, catching himself before he cursed at her, "--_jerk_ who stands guys up. But I do. So get over yourself and just answer the question: what are you doing here?"

Sonny glared at him, but answered, hoping it would get him to shut up and leave. "I'm working late. I didn't get a whole lot done." With that, she looked back down at her notepad and began scribbling notes again. She sighed in annoyance when she realized her was still there. She decided to be a little more blunt with her message this time.

"_GET OUT!_" she yelled, throwing her pen in his direction. Chad stepped to the side, easily avoiding it. He kept his composure as he looked her straight in the eyes.

"Just answer me this one question, Sonny. Who are you _really_ mad at?"

Sonny narrowed her eyes dangerously low and shook slightly, ready to snap a comeback at him.

Then she thought about what he'd asked... And her expression softened.

Bingo. Chad knew he'd found overly-nice Sonny. Sonny, who forgave everyone when they didn't deserve it in the least, and was never too prideful to admit she was wrong.

"...Myself," she mumbled. "For acting way out of line with you... I'm sorry..."

Chad's expression seemed to soften a bit, much to Sonny's surprise. It seemed she held the remote control to his emotions this week... She wasn't so sure she liked it. She shifted uncomfortable when he sat down next to her. She quickly and quietly hid the journal under one of the couch pillows.

"So... Just tell me the truth Sonny. Why didn't you show up?"

Sonny bit her lip, trying to think up an excuse. Just because she'd made up with Chad didn't suddenly make them friends... She wasn't ready to tell him about the journal. There was no reason to... Not when they were just two people who happened to work at the same studio.

"I... I... I forgot..." She cringed as the words came out of her mouth. Even if he believed that excuse, he was sure to yell at her for it.

Much to her surprise, he simply put a hand on her shoulder. "Is that all?" he asked gently. Sonny's eyes widened slightly. "You should have been straight up from the beginning, Sonny. Accidents happen, that doesn't bother me nearly as much as your first excuse did."

Sonny smiled weakly, feeling a pang of guilt for not being honest with him, even now.

"...Think we could reschedule then?"

Sonny smile faded and she nervously looked down at her feet.

"...Oh..." Chad muttered, getting the message. "T-That's fine."

An awkward pause followed. Sonny nervously smoothed out her skirt for a few minutes before speaking up, not sure how to get him to leave. "What do you want?"

"...It's nearly ten... You're not seriously going to walk to the bus stop in the dark are you?"

Sonny shrugged. "Actually the bus doesn't run this late. I'm walking home."

Chad made a face. "I... can't let you do that."

"...Excuse me?" Sonny raised an eyebrow.

"This isn't Wisconsin Sweetheart, it's Los Angeles. You can't just go walking around in the dark..." Another awkward pause followed. "...Let me drive you home."

Sonny chuckled slightly, shaking her head in disbelief, wondering why he suddenly cared again. "No thanks, I think I'll brave this one on my own." She ignored him desperately calling after her as she grabbed her bag and left the studio. Chad glared as the doors closed behind her, running back to his dressing room to get his keys. She wasn't getting away _that_ easily.

---

Sonny actually found herself becoming genuinely nervous as a care slowed up behind her. She tried to convince herself she was just imagining it, but it was hard to ignore the way it was slowly rolling up to her. She swallowed and walked a bit faster. Maybe she _should_ have taken Chad up on that ride...

She jumped slightly when the car pulled up right next to her. She relaxed when she saw Chad behind the wheel.

"How's it going?"

Sonny frowned at him and folded her arms, continuing walking. No way was she going to let on that she was scared.

"Just fine. And I'm not getting in."

Chad shrugged, leaning back in his seat as he kept up with her. "Fine by me. I'm still gonna follow you, though." Sonny shook her head and continued walking, trying to ignore him. She clenched her fists tighter and tighter as he bragged about how good the heater felt, how comfortable the seats were, how they'd already be there if she'd just get in...

Sonny finally growled in frustration and hopped in the passenger side when he pulled back a little, claiming he was giving her a 'head-start'.

There was mostly silence the rest of the way there. Sonny kept her hands folded gently in her lap, only ever glancing at Chad to observe him favoring his right shoulder for some reason. Several times she had the urge to ask him about it, but thought better of it each time.

Sonny found herself somehow glued to her spot when Chad pulled into her driveway. She glanced to the side, finally speaking up when she realized he wasn't going to say anything.

"...Thank you, Chad. It was... nice of you."

Chad smiled slightly and leaned towards her. "You're welcome... If you ever need anything, just..."

Sonny's eyes widened when she realized what he was doing. She put a hand up in front of her and leaned back, his lips catching her fingers instead.

"You are unbelievable! What is with you and these mood swings?! You think after being such a jerk this week that I'd like you any more than I did before? You think you can make me feel miserable and then try to be the rebound when I'm miserable?" Chad only stared at her, wondering to himself how he could have possibly messed this up again. "Well I've got news for you, Chad: There's another guy. I love him. So... just drop it." With that, Sonny opened the door and got out of the car, stomping all the way to her door.

Chad groaned and flopped down on the seat, staring straight up at the stars above him.

Sure, he'd admit he was being complicated.

But Sonny was turning out to be even more complicated than _he_ was.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N**: Sorry guys, I had to re-upload this after the great ff dot net crash, aka the day we all found out we have no lives outside this site :P

I'm sorry the last chapter is riddled with errors, guys :( I'll fix em ASAP.

I'm also sorry this update took a little longer than usual. It's been an extremely long week at work and today was not a good work day at all. Writing is my release for that though, so I made sure to sit down and start working on this. I'm sooo glad it's finally the weekend.

Thank you a million times over to all my reviewers. You are what made this story so successful and you are the reason I continue writing. Thank you, THANK you, thank you!

Please continue to review and enjoy :)

---

Sonny smiled as she plopped herself down on the prop house couch to read another journal entry.

Despite the way she'd snapped at Chad in the car that night, the two were getting along surprisingly well the last few weeks. While she didn't exactly appreciate the attempt at kissing her, she still couldn't deny the fact that she'd been harsher than was needed to him all week. She could see how much it hurt him when he'd driven her home that night, so she went out of her way to be 'kinder than necessary', as the boy in the journal had so eloquently put it. Reading the entries made her realize just how true his statement was... She'd never in a million years have guessed that his parents were so cruel; how did she know Chad wasn't hiding anything just as bad?

She had to admit, she liked it better this way. When no one was looking, Chad actually returned her kindness, much to her surprise. She vaguely wondered why she hadn't tried being overly-kind from day one... Apparently it worked. (Then she reminded herself that they drove each other crazy, and she stopped wondering.)

The entire week, he'd actually smile at her when they saw each other. Eventually they graduated to him pointing his finger and clicking his tongue at her, smiling when it made her break out in uncontrollable giggles. She found herself becoming less and less uncomfortable when he got close to her; even letting him hold her hand and play with her fingers when they were just sitting around during a class or at lunchtime. She couldn't stop a glowing smile from appearing on her face when he'd come and visit her before the end of the day.

She'd walk into her dressing room in the morning to find little surprises; she'd gotten a Hershey bar and her favorite soda one morning, a cute new hair clip the next, and, after their discussion the day before about one of Sonny's favorite movies, The Phantom of the Opera, a fresh rose with a black ribbon tied around it. (That had been her favorite.) Eventually, Sonny decided to mix things up a bit by sending little surprises back. Instead of something he'd actually like though, she'd grab a million of the Universal Studios brochures from the front office and scatter them across the desk in his dressing room. The next day she'd taken her casts' empty frozen yogurt containers and hid them in one of the drawers. The day after that, she'd grabbed a tube of her lipstick and wrote 'So Random rules!' on his mirror. Then everyday he'd see her at lunch, smile, and put a hand on her back, saying, "You got me again, Sonny." She'd beam right back up at him every time.

...But she didn't like him, of course.

Even if there was _overwhelming_ evidence against that statement, it was true... He was just flirting with her and she was being a good sport and playing along. Every time she found herself being drawn into those beautiful, blue eyes, she'd remind herself of those imaginary green eyes behind the words in the journal. That always did the trick. Chad was just a good friend, the unnamed boy in the journal was the one she was truly, undeniably in love with.

With that thought in mind, Sonny relaxed into the couch pillows and opened the journal to the spot she'd bookmarked. She frowned slightly when she noticed it was another entry about his parents.

"_So, Dad hit me again today. A couple times, actually. So now my back's really stiff and my shoulders are kinda tense and everyone's been asking about it all day. Meh. Thankfully I'm a good enough actor that they believe me when I tell them I tripped on the stairs."_

Sonny sat up straight and clutched the book tightly in her hands, shaking it and speaking to it as if she expected it to answer. "Come on, you need to _tell someone!!_"

"_It wasn't for back-talk this time. No, this time it was because I put a friend before work. Mom says 'career first, no exceptions'. I like to live more by the philosophy of 'work hard, play hard', but whatever. It won't be the first time Mom's opted against taking my advice. Dad hit me though, because Mom reminded me of her little 'work first' motto. I asked her what she would do if I was really hurt and she was in the middle of an important meeting. She basically told me it could wait. Great. Fun day to learn your mom doesn't love you, she just loves the money you're making. I told Mom this, and that's when Dad whacked me for 'being disrespectful'. (In other words, not shutting my mouth and working like the good little money-maker I am.) I dunno what to do, really. Never thought I'd have to deal with a problem like this. I guess for now I have my friends and I'll just have to rely on that. As a very smart girl once told me, things will be better in the morning."_

Sonny sighed, twisting her mouth to the side in thought. Darn this guy and his lack of specifics... If he had even just given the name of this girl he knew, it would give her more of a hint. She grimaced, thinking over everything she'd read in the last entry. He was such a sweet boy... Obviously things were tough on him, and yet he was still so optimistic about it. She closed the book, put it away in her bag and massaged her temples in frustration. She wished she could figure out who this guy was already so she could pull him into a tight hug, talk to him, and make sure he knew he was loved by _someone_.

Meanwhile, Chad was walking down the hall, ready to leave. He did a double take when he saw Sonny on the couch, looking rather distraught over something. He put on his best smirk, and strutted in, sitting next to her.

"Hey Son-Bun," he put a hand on her back. "What's up with you?"

Sonny shrugged, as she usually did when he asked that question. "Nothing. I'm fine. Why?"

"Because you're _not_ fine," he answered. Something's wrong. Seems you're always looking pretty deep in thought whenever I come to see you."

Sonny looked up at the ceiling, trying to think up an excuse for this one. As much as she wanted to hear his take on her falling in love with this mystery boy, she still wasn't sure showing him the journal was a good idea. She could only imagine the ridicule he'd subject the poor boy to. She bit her lower lip in thought before blurting out the best excuse she could muster on such short notice.

"Well.... there's this guy," she could have sworn she saw his face fall at this, "I... think I'm falling in love with him," he lit up again, "...and I don't even know his name." His expression darkened again.

"...Oh," he said dejectedly. "One of those, huh?"

Sonny elbowed him playfully. "He's been, um... Sending me notes... Yea. And telling me a little bit about him and his life. I don't know who he is though... J-Just that... I think I may be head-over-heels for him..."

"Well..." Chad seemed to be having a lot of difficulty gathering his words; something Sonny wasn't used to seeing in him. "You can't really rely on words, Sonny... Anyone can write words. I could write a book on what a nice guy I am, but we both know it would be bull in real life." Sonny giggled a bit, but waved his comment off.

"This is different... I.... I know this is the guy's true personality. D-Don't ask me how... I just do."

Chad sighed, looking down at the floor as an awkward silence hung in the air. Sonny looked up at him when he winced slightly and rubbed his shoulder.

"...Are you okay? You've been favoring that shoulder for a long time now..."

Chad made a face as though she'd just asked him the _last_ thing he wanted to hear. He quickly removed his hand from his shoulder and scratched the back of his neck nervously instead. He had to say something, anything to change the subject and kill the thickness of the awkwardness in the air.

"You know that stupid dance the studio does every year?"

Chad could have smacked his palm against his forehead at this. 'Way to go, Chad,' he thought to himself. 'Way to pull random subjects out of thin air.'

Sonny looked up at him, confused for a moment but shaking it off. "No, I don't know... I've only been here a couple months, if you recall...."

Chad shrugged nervously. "I guess I thought Tawni would have said something. Surprised she didn't, she never shuts up about it this time of year."

Sonny giggled a bit at this. "Enlighten me."

"Well... Uh..." Chad began straightening his tie. His nervous tick, she remembered. "W-Well they do this stupid dance thing every year... It's supposed to be a way to get all the kids from the different lots talking to each other and getting to know each other better... I-It's really stupid--"

"Chad, I'm getting the vibe that you think this particular event is stupid. Am I on the right track?"

Chad mumbled something Sonny couldn't hear before speaking up again. "Yea, it is, okay? They make everyone dress up and talk to each other and... Meh."

Sonny smirked and shook her head. "If it's not mandatory, how do you know it's so stupid?"

Chad glared at her. "I'm CDC, okay? I'm obligated to show up to these things."

Sonny giggled, smiling as a thought hit her. Maybe if she found out who the author of this journal was in time, she could ask _him_ to go with her when she returned the journal. Better yet, maybe he'd ask _her_. It would be the perfect time to get to know the dark-haired, green-eyed boy better. And how romantic would it be to end the night holding onto each other, dancing under the stars--

"Think you might wanna go with me?"

Sonny was immediately shaken from her daydream by this question. "...What?"

Chad cringed, apparently worried that Sonny would snap at him and reject him, just like the last time. She _had_ been flirting back with him the entire week though, so he decided to run with it.

Sonny, on the other hand, was just shocked. She wasn't sure she knew what to say... For the last four weeks, she'd convinced herself that Chad was just being friendly. He didn't like her; what a ridiculous idea... She drove him nuts and he drove _her_ nuts, and they liked it that way. The more Chad spoke, however, the less and less Sonny could deny it:

Chad Dylan Cooper had a crush on Sonny Munroe.

She quickly erased a smile that tugged at her lips at the thought. She knew that confusion-induced headache would be coming on soon.

Chad... Boy-in-journal... Chad... Boy-in-journal...

Thinking back to her favorite movie, Sonny suddenly realized how Christine must have felt in choosing between the Phantom and Raoul...

The lovable boy in the journal definitely being Raoul, and the crazy stalker known as the Phantom definitely being Chad.

Sonny sighed uneasily, realizing he was waiting for an answer.

"I... I-I'll think about it, okay?"

Chad didn't seem satisfied by this. He reached forward and took her hand, gently running his thumbs across her skin. She groaned in annoyance, realizing he was going to turn that charm on for her.

"Please, Sonny? I-It's not easy for me to do this, okay? I _do_ have a reputation to think of, you know."

Sonny was actually rather surprised by this sudden drop in his guard. Aside from that, he'd been ridiculously nice to her the entire week... Maybe he really _did _have a crush on her...

...Or maybe he just wanted to parade a girl around on his arm, and Portlyn had already been asked.

Neither option made her decision any easier.

She bit her lip again, now thoroughly confused. The thought vaguely occurred to her that she wouldn't find out who the journal belonged to in time, and both her _and_ Chad would be alone that night. That didn't seem very fair, to either them. She could always back out on Chad if the journal's owner revealed himself, right?

Sonny frowned, realizing that wasn't a very nice option. Still, she wasn't sure what else to do. So she decided to blurt out her answer before she changed her mind.

"_Yes_. Y-Yes Chad, I'll go with you..."

Sonny was surprised to see his face light up at this. He smiled brightly and stood up. Realizing what he was doing, he cleared his throat, fixing his tie again.

"R-Right," he said, trying to sound as smooth and composed as possible. "I'll pick you up Friday at six, then..."

Sonny nodded at him with a nervous smile as he walked out, closing the door behind him.

Chad looked to his left.

He looked to his right.

He looked all around to make sure absolutely no one was watching.

Because Chad Dylan Cooper did _not_ do happy dances.

...At least when people were looking.

Inside the room, Sonny was doing a little happy dance of her own, feeling the excitement again that she'd felt the first time he'd tried asking her out.

...Then she remembered why that last date had been such a disaster to begin with.

It all came back to that damn journal.

Sonny stopped dancing and flopped down on the couch, onto her back.

Could boys _get_ any more confusing?

---

Feel like I kind of did a cop-out with that dance thing, but I didn't wanna re-use the prom idea :P I'm always open to hearing what you guys like or dislike or want to see :) Please review!


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: ** Holy crud this chapter is long. It was almost longer, but I got exhausted and this chapter got super long... So I saved the rest for the next chapter. There's not enough hours in the day when you help teach first grade... I'll do a triple-check for errors on this chapter tomorrow, to see if I missed anything in my exhausted state.

So here's the deal peeps, I can't reply to reviews or see them on the page, but I still see them in my email, so PLEASE REVIEW!! I'm sure all problems will be resolved soon. Thank you all for being loyal and reviewing the last chapter despite technical problems. You are all the best!

So I assume Sonny and Chad know guitar because there's a guitar in the prop house, and Sterling plays it :P So there ya go.

I also imagine the person who leaked the info of Sonny's whereabouts in this chapter as OceanUp :P I left it out though because there's enough pop culture references in this chap... It's just fun to imagine, haha ;)

Enjoy!!

---

Sonny uneasily glanced at the giant mirror in front of her as a gaggle of people stood a little ways away, chattering loudly. Two unlucky store clerks had the duty of keeping everyone, especially those with a camera a certain distance away.

She turned to the side, looking her reflection up and down, not able to concentrate on what she thought of the dress she was looking at, due to the uncomfortable feeling of all eyes being on her. Being a celebrity certainly took some getting used to... She didn't think she'd ever get to the point where she could easily ignore all the prying eyes, though. Especially in an awkward situation like this. Some girls could barely handle trying on dresses with their own mothers hanging around. Sonny had to do so with her mother _and_ the extremely large group of people that had found out she was there, thanks to one little newsfeed on Twitter.

Sonny made a face, thoroughly embarrassed, as she continued to awkwardly survey herself in the mirror. She smirked slightly as an idea came to mind. Sonny was an optimistic sort of person, so she decided to make the best of an awkward situation.

"Hey," she turned to address the crowd. "What do you guys think of this one?"

She took a step back when she was greeted with deafening screams. She giggled as she put her fingers in her ears, deciding she would turn this weird moment into something more fun. She would go back into the dressing room, put on another dress, and come strutting out as though in the middle of a fashion show. She would stop at the end of the mirror and strike some sort of overdramatic pose that would make the crowd scream at the top of their lungs, and her and her mother fall over laughing.

Nearly an hour later, Sonny came out with a knee-length ice blue dress covered with tulle. She particularly enjoyed the way it sparkled in the light. She smiled as she held it up to her mother.

"This is the one I want," she paused before continuing, "Blue is Chad's favorite color," she added with a smile.

Her mother smirked and raised an eyebrow at her, nodding her head. "You really fancy this boy, don't you?"

Sonny blushed slightly, passing the dress over to her and hanging her head. "No... I just... I just want this night to be good for him, that's all. It's only fair." She looked at the floor as she approached the large crowd, ready to squeeze her way through the fans to get to the register up front. She hoped her blush wasn't evident.

In truth, she was secretly hoping that Chad would be blown away when he saw her.

---

Chad sighed nervously as he stopped in front of Sonny's door. He lifted his hand to ring the doorbell, but hesitated, instead moving his hand to smooth down his hair. He grimaced as he looked down at the suit he was wearing. He panicked as he suddenly realized that nothing about him was good enough for Sonny. He fussed with his hair a bit more, fixed his tie, brushed his sleeves off, fixed his tie again, straightened out the lapels of his coat, and fixed his tie a final time. He looked at his watch and realized that fifteen minutes had passed. Deciding not to waste any more time, he took a deep breath and rang the doorbell.

He spent the few seconds he had nervously fixing whatever else he could before straightening up as he heard the door open.

"Oh... Chad! You're early," Sonny's mother greeted him, looking down at her watch.

Chad's smile fell as he looked down at his own. Somehow he'd managed to show up 45 minutes early. He had left an hour early, thinking it would get him there just in time. Apparently he'd given himself too much of a margin of error... He swallowed nervously, hoping his blushing wasn't showing as he answered her.

"I-I'm sorry Ms. Munroe, I-I just wanted to make sure I got us there in time, and... er..." he nervously scratched the back of his neck as she smiled at him.

"She's in her room. Right down that way," she pointed to a room down the hallway. Chad smiled back, stepping inside and walking towards the room. He took his time on the way there, surveying his surroundings. It all seemed like a pretty normal home. The only thing that really stood out to him was a DVD set of the first season of Mackenzie Falls, neatly sandwiched between a few other movies on a shelf.

That, and a picture of her hugging a man that he assumed to be her father. He felt slightly guilty as he replayed what he'd said to her in the cafeteria a few weeks ago in his head. He shook it off as he stopped at Sonny's door. He grasped the doorknob, but stopped when he heard music from the other side of the door. He wrinkled his nose as he recognized the artist as Demi Lovato.

He slowly opened the door and poked his head inside, surprised to see her stereo turned off. He glanced over at her and was even more surprised to see her strumming on a guitar. He stood quietly staring at her as he listened in to the lyrics she was singing.

"_Until you're mine, I had to find a way to fill this hole inside, I can't survive without you here by my side..."_

Chad's heart skipped a beat as he listened to her sing quietly along with her guitar-playing. He smiled a bit when he thought of the possibility that she was thinking of him while she was playing.

"_Until you're mine, not gonna be even close to complete, I won't rest until you're mine..."_

Then the thought occurred to him. What if she _wasn't_ thinking about him. What if she was thinking about this jerk that was apparently sending her notes?

Chad was broken from his thoughts when he heard a soft gasp and the music abruptly stopped. He looked down to see Sonny staring wide-eyed up at him. Chad continued staring back awkwardly before looking away several seconds later.

"S-Sorry Sonny, I-I didn't mean to--"

"It's fine," Sonny interrupted, placing the guitar down next to her. Chad tried to keep his jaw from dropping as he took in her appearance. Everything from the pink flower in her perfectly curled hair, down to the light blue dress that hugged her hips, down to her high heels. He tried to shake off his gawking, not noticing that Sonny was gawking right back at him. He swallowed nervously and put on his best smirk. He was an actor, after all.

"I didn't know you played guitar."

Sonny's cheeks turned bright red as she folded her hands in her lap and looked down at the floor. Chad smirked again, sitting next to her and lifting the guitar into his lap. "I play a little guitar myself, you know." He held the guitar in his hands, ready to try a technique that worked on every single girl before Sonny.

She smiled expectantly up at him as he started strumming.

"_You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing, I need to find you..."_

Sonny laughed, putting her hand out and placing it over the strings, stopping him.

"Sorry Chad, you're not gonna impress me with that Camp Rock stuff. Only Joe Jonas could pull that off."

Chad frowned. "Come on, _every_ girl likes Camp Rock, it's the only reason I know that stupid song. You think I know these things because I _want_ to?"

Sonny giggled again, liking the effect this was having on him. Obviously, he'd never hit this roadblock before. "Eh, I'm more of a Zac Efron fan, to be honest."

Chad laughed back, finally picking up that she was messing around with him. He smiled as he stood up, extending his hand to her.

"Come on Sunshine, we're gonna be late."

---

Sonny smiled awkwardly as she shifted her weight from foot to foot, keeping her hand in a death grip with Chad's while he chatted away with someone she didn't recognize. It seemed he knew every last person here, while she only recognized her own cast and a few of the Mackenzie Falls actors.

She was grateful that Chad at least stayed by her side the entire time. Unfortunately, she had no idea what to do but stand there awkwardly while people spoke to him.

While Chad got particularly involved (or at least pretended to be) in a conversation with a boy she'd never seen before, she stared blankly ahead, focusing on and swaying her hips gently to the music. She found her mind wandering and soon began daydreaming while she waited. She shook her head as thoughts of the journal came flooding to her mind. She shook her head slightly, as though willing the thoughts to fall out of her head. It wasn't fair to Chad for her to be thinking about the boy in the journal. Not tonight, anyway.

Sonny was broken from her daydream when Chad gently squeezed her hand and turned to face her.

"Sorry about that, Sunshine. I-I know I'm not really paying attention to you, b-but--"

Sonny waved his apology off. "Don't worry about it. I'm fine."

Chad made a face before the next song started up. A slow song, he realized, much to his satisfaction. "Wanna dance?" he asked, holding his hand out to her. Sonny smiled and took his hand, giggling when he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close to him. He slowly began dancing with her when he noticed her expression soften.

"W-What's wrong?"

Sonny shrugged. "'Catch Me'? Seriously? I just find it funny that Demi seems to be following us around." She smiled a bit when he chuckled lightly at this, but couldn't help feeling uneasy. When she'd been playing the song in her room earlier, she had been playing it with the boy in the journal in mind... Was it really just a coincidence that this was happening now with Chad?

Sonny shook the thought off again, realizing she was thinking about the journal again. This was Chad's night, and she was _not_ going to think about that boy...

She sighed slightly, getting a bit more comfortable. She had to admit, she felt safer than she had in a long time with him. The feeling of his strong arms wrapped around her waist and back was something she could definitely get used to. Getting a little more relaxed, she laid her head down on his chest, pleased when he didn't react. (Save from him tensing up a bit; she imagined he was nervous.)

Once the song finally ended, Chad slowly led them to a stop and placed a soft kiss on top of her head. Sonny felt goosebumps forming on her skin as her heart pounded in her chest. She kept her head on his chest before he eventually spoke up again.

"So... W-What would you like to do now?"

Sonny sighed slightly, not wanting to move from her spot. The feel of him holding onto her and her head resting gently on his shoulder... It all felt so right. She kept quiet, worried that if she answered, somehow the moment would end. Chad sighed, obviously taking this the wrong way.

"I'm sorry Sonny... I know this has been kind of boring--"

"No!" Sonny interrupted, mentally smacking herself for letting that come out so loud. "N-No, that's not it at all..." Chad grimaced slightly, looking down at her, attempting to read what she might be thinking. He studied her eyes as they glanced around the room at all the people. He then figured he had a fair idea...

"...You wanna go somewhere to be alone for a little bit?" He twitched his mouth nervously when he realized that came out wrong. "N-Nothing like that, I just meant... I thought maybe you'd wanna get away from all the eyes for a little bit--"

Sonny thought about it as Chad continued fumbling over his words. She wasn't exactly sure why, but she liked the idea. She didn't exactly like having so many people around seeing them together, and a little alone time with Chad didn't seem absolutely horrible, to be completely honest.

Chad beamed down at her when she smiled and nodded shyly. He gently took her hand and led her outside into the studio hallway.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** Wow everyone, I just don't know what to say. I'm overwhelmed with everyone's kind words and interest in this story. It's, by a landslide, the most successful story I've written so far. I can't thank you all enough, but THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!

For those of you who said I could write as a career, thank you very much :) It's actually a dream of mine to do so.

I know we're all getting antsy about who this mystery boy in the journal is. All I can say is be patient ;) I don't want to rush this story; all answers will be revealed in due time.

If you've given me an idea or suggestion for this story, please know that I am not ignoring you. Typically by the time you all review, I've already got the next chapter in motion. I take all ideas into consideration though and appreciate the help :) I'm always eager to hear what you guys want to see, because I write not just for myself, but for you all as well.

Enjoy, and please REVIEW :)

Severe Channy fluff ahead ;)

---

Sonny smiled as the air conditioning hit them once they were out in the hall. Somehow, the eerie silence and dimmed lights of the usually bright and busy hall just enhanced the mood.

Without saying a word, Chad took her hand and began leading her slowly down the hall. She wanted to say something to him, but didn't even know where to begin. As it was, she was already confused beyond all reason about her feelings for this guy. She wondered if it was at all possible to love two people at once... That certainly wasn't unheard of, right? Still, it seemed horribly unfair one or the other.

At the same time, Chad seemed to come out of nowhere with his feelings for her. That only added to the confusion. She'd thought they couldn't stand each other. And neither of them really seemed to have a problem with that.

Well... Usually. Unless one of them crossed the line. That day in the cafeteria came to mind. Sonny had _hated_ him that day. She wanted nothing more than tell him to shove off and never have to see him again.

And now here she was, shyly following close behind as he led her down the hall, heading towards who-knew-where.

She didn't want to ask though. Somehow the mystery of it all made it that much more thrilling. She liked not knowing all the details of what was going to happen next. It was part of what attracted her to the boy in the journal so much...

Sonny shook her head and attempted to displace such thoughts from her mind. She reminded herself for the umpteenth time that night that it wasn't fair to Chad to be thinking of the boy in the journal. She tried to snap back to reality as it vaguely occurred to her that Chad was speaking to her.

Just as the words "watch your step" registered, Sonny slid on her heel, causing her to fall face forward down the remainder of the steps.

Sonny bit her lip as she sat up, not sure if she wanted to cry from embarrassment, or from the searing pain in her ankle. She blinked a few times, pushing back her tears, flat-out _refusing_ to cry in front of Chad. She accidently let a small choke escape when he rushed down to her side in a flash and rubbed her back.

"Geez, are you okay, Sonny?"

Sonny nodded vigorously, thoroughly humiliated. She leaned forward and loosened the straps on her heels, sliding them off as she examined the ankle she'd slipped on. Chad grimaced slightly and held a hand out, gently taking her heel and lifting it off the ground. He bit his lip when Sonny winced and let out a little whimper.

"Where does it hurt?"

Sonny chomped down on her lip, willing herself to answer him. Unfortunately, the embarrassment and pain got the better of her, and only pathetic sobs came out instead. Out of instinct, Chad instantly wrapped his arms around her tightly, slightly taken aback when this instantly silenced her. He looked down to see her staring up at him, completely shocked. They stayed that way for quite some time before Sonny cleared her throat, her face turning a deeper shade of red, if that was at all possible.

"Sorry... I'm so embarrassed..." she muttered. "I'm fine, really."

Chad gave her a weak smile before gently squeezing her shoulder. "Here, I'll carry you out to the car--"

"No!" Sonny interrupted quickly. She swallowed nervously before continuing, "I-I mean, no, that's fine... I'm not even hurt that bad, really... It was just a silly little fall, nothing too serious--"

Chad cut off her rambling by placing a hand on her back and his arm under her legs, carefully lifting her up as he stood. Sonny gasped softly and wrapped her arms around his neck for balance. She looked at him before giving him a mock pouty lip as she reached down for her shoes. Chad rolled his eyes, but smiled as he bent down so she could pick them up. She carefully placed them on her lap, folding her hands neatly on top of them. She shook slightly when he started walking down the hall.

The cold air hit them immediately when he pushed open the studio door and walked outside with her. She closed her eyes and smiled weakly when he held her closer to him.

As her cheek rested against his shoulder, her heart started racing again. She tried to settle the pounding in her ears and the way her palms began to sweat.

She closed her her eyes, rested her head on his shoulder and took in everything she could... The sound of his breathing, the smell, his heartbeat... She felt like there was nowhere she could possibly fit better.

Her eyes widened as she was taken over by a severe case of de ja vu. Where had she done this before? She inhaled deeply, realizing the answer.

The dream... She had thought it was the boy in the journal, but it had turned out to be Chad...

Was her mind trying to tell her something now?

She quickly shook the thought off. It was ridiculous. The boy and Chad were worlds apart in their personalities...

Right?

Sonny didn't have time to think anymore on that possibility as they neared Chad's car. She leaned her head over, hoping to get a look at the make of it, frowning when she missed it.

'No sweat, right?' She thought to herself. 'It's not him anyway, no big deal...'

She shivered a bit more when Chad lifted her over the door of his convertible and sat her down in the passenger seat. He frowned down at her as she shook, before sliding his coat off and placing it gently on her shoulders. Sonny hadn't thought it was possible for her to blush any deeper, but was quickly proven wrong.

She laid her head back on the seat and sighed contently, a weak smile playing her features. She felt an intense sense of relief wash over her as she finally let herself accept it:

She was falling, and falling hard, for Chad Dylan Cooper.

It felt good to finally admit it to herself. It didn't squander any of her feelings about the boy in the journal, but it certainly gave her less of a headache trying to keep it a secret from herself. She reveled in the silence as Chad plopped himself down in the seat next to her, starting up the car. Tonight was turning out just like a classic romance story...

She let the cool breeze blow on her face, not caring that the curls were coming out of her hair, not caring what time it was, not caring where Chad was taking her.

The point was, he was there.

And that was all she really cared about for the time being.

---

Sonny smoothed her dress out before laying her head back down in the grass, staring up at the stars. She held back a giggle as she thought about the last time she'd been up here. Chad had been helping her attempt to break Marshall and Mrs. Bitterman up. She had to admit, she was glad to be back under much calmer circumstances. She adored the view from this spot. She loved that she could see nearly the entire city, as well as the lit up Hollywood sign.

She closed her eyes and inhaled the cool air, enjoying the silence between them. Chad, however, seemed a little more uncomfortable with it. Every few seconds he would fidget around in his spot, taking several seconds to settle back in. Finally, he cleared his throat, getting her attention.

"So... tell me something about yourself, Sunshine."

Sonny coughed lightly, looking over at him.

"W-What do you mean?"

Chad shrugged. "I know we've been talking all week, but there's always more to know, right?"

Sonny giggled quietly, aware of how nervous he was. "Let's see... I love to play guitar. My favorite show was So Random long before I got the audition. My idea of a relaxing weekend is curling up with a good book in cozy pajamas after a long shower. I hope to be an actor for the rest of my life... And... I worry too much about what other people think of me."

Chad sighed, not taking his eyes off the stars above them. She sure had a way of making him feel guilty... He didn't tease her and provoke her since she'd gotten to the studio with the knowledge that she would take it so hard. Had he known, he probably would have eased up on her a bit.

Another awkward pause followed, when Sonny spoke up. "So... tell me something about _you_ now."

Chad twisted his mouth to the side in thought.

"Believe it or not, my favorite show isn't my own. I like the color blue. I hate fakers. Fakers and hypocrites. I guess you could say that's why I'm not shy about being straight up with people. I don't bother trying to hide who I am because I hate when other people do it. I'm an only child and my parents and I don't get along."

Sonny sighed, processing everything she'd just heard.

"That was... extremely vague," she pointed out. "Why no specifics or details?"

Chad shrugged again.

"I don't like specifics. Information is too easily lost or spread around. If you're not specific, there's always a way to weasel out of it, or pretend you didn't say it."

Sonny shifted in her spot slightly. She couldn't help thinking about how similar he was to the author of the journal. He wasn't too big on specifics either.

After a brief pause, Chad continued on. "I'm not a morning person. I'm also not as mean and cold as people make me out to be. I won't show anyone, but even I get nervous sometimes. There's plenty of things out there that I'm scared of. I get lonely sometimes..."

Sonny stared blankly ahead at the stars, taking in what he was telling her. To say the least, it was a strange sensation, hearing words of weakness coming from Chad Dylan Cooper's mouth.

"If I'm having a particularly rough day, I'll hide out in my dressing room until I know I can go back out without crying. I've got maybe a handful of true friends. I've never truly been in love with a girl before..."

Sonny looked over at him when she noticed his voice getting softer as he finished speaking. She remained perfectly still as he closed his eyes, leaning slowly towards her.

Sonny wasn't sure whether to be excited or nervous. Panicking, she held her hand up, his lips once again catching her fingers.

She turned her head away, blinking back tears.

"Chad," she said softly, "I can't..."

Much to her surprise, Chad appeared to become angry at this. He sat up quickly staring intently down at her.

"Are you kidding me? After all this? All the flirting, letting us get close to each other... Sonny, I've never told anyone what I just told you, _ever_. Doesn't that _mean_ anything to you?!"

Sonny sat up nervously, faltering under the intense glare he gave her.

"C-Chad, i-it's sweet and all... B-But there's someone else--"

"Sonny, so help me God, if you say it's the boy in those notes..."

Sonny shook slightly, looking down at her hands. He instantly knew he was correct. Sonny blinked back tears when it became evident that this angered him even more.

"Those are _words_ Sonny! _Words_!! You can't rely on _words_! What if this guy is the biggest jerk on the planet in actuality? What if you and him find out you're completely incompatible? What if he _doesn't even give a damn about you_? Just because you love him doesn't mean he loves _you!_"

Sonny continued shaking, unsure of what to say. She had to admit, she was terrified. She winced in pain when he grabbed her arm, tightening his grip on her. His words came out faster than she could process them.

"Are you really that blind? Have you not figured it out yet? I'm _head over heels_, Sonny. Ga ga, infatuated, the whole nine yards! From the very first day you got here; I take the long way to the rehearsal hall just to go by your dressing room, I always make sure to pick a spot in the lunchroom where I can see you the entire time, I haven't missed and episode of So Random since you joined the cast. I - LOVE - _YOU_." He stopped to catch his breath, unaware that he hadn't taken the time to breathe during his outburst.

Sonny whimpered slightly when his grip tightened.

"So _why_ are you doing this to me, Sonny? _WHY?!"_

Sonny inhaled deeply as a few stray tears fell from her eyes. Her response came out in barely a whisper.

"...I love you too... That's what's killing me..."

Chad looked surprised by this, unwittingly keeping his tight hold on her arm. His expression softened when Sonny hung her head, her hair covering her face as she broke out into heavy sobs.

"I-I'm scared..." she muttered between chokes. Chad quickly let go of her arm, absolutely horrified that he was the one that made her cry out of fear. He looked her up and down briefly before pulling her into a hug, gently guiding her head to his chest.

"I'm sorry Sonny... I'm _so_ sorry..."

Sonny sniffed and held tightly onto his shirt, sobbing uncontrollably. She knew she must look ridiculous, but she couldn't stop. It seemed she'd been holding in this cry for a good couple of weeks now. She was relieved to find Chad being extremely patient with her. He rocked her back and forth, gently stroking her hair and quietly shushing her until she calmed down.

She sighed, keeping her head rested against his chest. She bit her lip nervously when he spoke up again.

"...Sonny, I meant it when I said I loved you, so... I-I want you to do what'll make you happy... Okay? Whether that means me or this... guy... Whoever he is..." He held her tighter when her whole body shook. "Forget about what either of us would feel. Do what you think is right."

Sonny closed her eyes, willing herself to clear her thoughts and let go of the sense of control she felt the need to have over her emotions. She erased herself, quieted her conscience, and tried to think honestly and objectively of the one person she'd rather be with more than anyone else in the entire world. She had to admit, when she pictured herself with the dark-haired, green-eyed boy she imagined...

She was disappointed.

Her eyes fluttered open and looked into his own, as he stared down at her expectantly. Sonny took a deep breath.

"Thank you, Chad," she said softly. "For saving me. I've never felt more relieved in my life..."

Chad smiled, but looked a bit confused. "About what?"

"About making the right choice. Thank you for getting through to me and making me admit how hard I've fallen for you... No matter how stubborn I was," she added with a giggle.

Chad beamed down at her, gently taking her chin and leaning forward again. He was ecstatic to realize she wasn't going to pull away this time, as she closed her eyes and leaned forward as well.

They both felt the electricity when their lips finally met. Chad had been waiting for this moment for so long and Sonny... well, she hadn't realized until now just how long _she'd_ been waiting. She felt ready to melt in her spot when he lifted his hands, not breaking the kiss, and placed them on her cheeks, gently running his thumbs back and forth across her skin. She lifted her arms as he deepened the kiss, placing them around his neck.

She was admittedly disappointed when he pulled away, but blushed when he kept his hands on her face. He smiled lovingly at her.

"I love you, Sonny Munroe."

"I love you too, Chad..." she muttered shyly, her smile widening when Chad placed another soft kiss on her lips.

She felt her tears returning, though this time out of happiness, when he pulled away again. He brought back one of his world-famous smirks, wiping her tears away with his thumb before laying back down in the grass, guiding her down with him.

"It's been a long day..." he stated out loud, wrapping his arms around her.

Sonny nodded, yawning slightly, before turning on her side and snuggling into him, getting as close to him as she possibly could. He wrapped his arms around her tighter when she curled up into a little ball, resting her head on his chest. Her head spun as the overwhelming love she had for the person holding her in his arms overtook her.

She eventually let sleep overtake her, smiling as she drifted off.

She was certain she hadn't gone to sleep so happy since the short time before her father had passed away.

---

Don't worry peeps, the drama llama will start making an appearance again soon ;) Don't forget to review!


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N**: Wow guys, do I fail or WHAT? I'm so sorry I haven't updated in so long. There's two big reasons for that. For one, being 20 is a full time occupation :P Between school and work I got wrapped up in everything and just got busy for a while there. The second reason would be that I REALLY wanted to end this chapter at the journal entry, just for a cliffy. But I knew the chapter would be too short if I did that, so I had a lot of struggles deciding what to do.

Please enjoy this especially drama-filled chapter and REVIEW :)

Thanks again for everything, everyone.

Random ramble: Is it weird that I'm very frustrated that I have to take off my three-cap Demi ring to type? :P

---

Sonny blinked a few times, inhaling a breath of freezing cold air.

Her eyelids felt heavy as she yawned and shifted in her spot slightly. She noted, with some surprise, that she wasn't lying in her warm, soft bed. The surface was actually rather wet and cold... The chilly temperature gave her goosebumps. The tulle of her dress, which she apparently hadn't changed out of before going to sleep, was rubbing up against her legs and her stomach, leaving uncomfortable red marks on her skin from the irritation.

And still, somehow, she felt completely relaxed and contented. She couldn't remember why though...

She lifted a weak hand and gently rubbed an eye, taking in her surroundings. She felt a nervous jolt in her stomach when she realized where she was; outside, lying in the grass. She was enveloped by pitch darkness, save from the faint glow from the city in the distance, and the occasional firefly.

Sonny closed her eyes and tried to remember what had happened the night before. What could possibly elicit her to be sleeping outside late at night in the grass?

She gasped when she felt something tighten around her back. Her eyes flew open and she found herself looking into the face of a sleeping Chad Dylan Cooper.

After a brief moment, she relaxed.

A small smile played over her features as everything about the night before came flooding back to her. The dance, the nasty fall she'd taken, the way he'd carried her out to his car and driven her up here...

And finally falling asleep securely in his strong arms. She blushed as she noted that he still had a firm hold on her, hugging her as close to his chest as she could possibly get.

Sonny held her arms as a chilly gust of wind swept across the pair. She noted a heavier material was now on her arms. She looked down to see that Chad had placed his coat on her while she was sleeping. She smiled again, giggling at the way the sleeves were too long for her, and hung limply over her hands. She held her hands under her chin, curling up again, trying to get more comfortable. Her cheeks burned red when Chad let out a sleepy groan, holding her still with one arm around her waist, and lifting another to gently stroke her hair.

"Go back to sleep, Sunshine," he whispered soothingly in her ear. Sonny shivered when his warm breath tickled her ear. She smiled contently when she heard his breathing even out again, indicating he'd fallen back to sleep. She smiled as she took in the rhythm of his chest moving up and down, and the way his fingers still lightly danced in her hair. She'd never felt so overcome with such a strong emotion before. She couldn't snuggle close enough to him, she couldn't whisper enough times how much she loved him, she couldn't lie long enough here with him, holding her securely in his arms, somehow showing just through his body language that she belonged to him.

Sonny sighed quietly, hoping the sound of the wind blowing through the trees would sooth her to sleep. Try as she might, however, she simply wasn't tired anymore.

Careful not to wake Chad up, she slowly maneuvered herself onto her back and reached out to her left, grabbing the strap of her purse and pulling it closer to her. Using her one free hand, she dug through the bag with some difficulty before finally producing the journal.

She turned back onto her side and gently gave Chad a loving peck on the cheek before opening the book up to the page she'd left off on. She was disappointed to see that only a few pages remained; probably about five or six. Not only did she still need to find something to connect these entries to an author, it was almost like coming to the end of an amazing book, or even worse, a relationship.

She giggled softly when she felt Chad rest his forehead on top of hers, faintly saying her name in his sleep.

Finishing the journal would be like the end of a good _friendship_. She loved Chad too much to have any doubts about not holding out for the journal's author.

Still, it couldn't hurt to keep reading, could it? What was wrong with getting back to what she'd lost focus of in the first place: getting the journal back to it's owner?

With that thought in mind, Sonny held the book up to her face and began reading.

Her heart skipped a beat when she'd read the first line.

"_I met the most amazing girl today_."

...

...

Why?

Why were tears welling up in her eyes now?

She loved _Chad_!

Why did seven simple words cause her so much pain?

She was _over_ him!

Wasn't she?

_WHY_ was she crying?

The answer didn't matter much at that point. The point was she _was_ crying. She dropped the journal, her hands flying to cover her face, as she attempted to hold back her sobs, only succeeding in making them come out as pained chokes.

She couldn't have possibly been more confused. She was certain, _certain_, that she'd gotten completely over this boy. This boy that she'd never even _met._ Maybe it was just the fact that this finalized things... Now, even if she _did_ want him, he was off-limits.

And to think, if she'd known about that to begin with, she wouldn't have kept rejecting Chad. She could have saved the boy she loved so much heartbreak...

All her thoughts and emotions came flooding to her at once, and she found herself unable to contain her sobs any longer. After a few moments, she sniveled and reached down to pick the journal back up. Her arm became stuck when Chad pulled her closer to him, sandwiching the book between them. She looked up to see he'd woken up. He was now rubbing her back and muttering into her hair.

"Shh, Sonny... Come on, calm down, it's gonna be okay..."

Sonny let out the last of her cries, smiling gratefully when he wiped her tears away with his thumb and delicately rocked her back and forth.

"What's the matter, Sonny? What happened?"

The concern in his voice sounded so unlike Chad. It was incredibly comforting to know that he loved her enough to break his often selfish character for her. She inhaled, calming herself down as she tried to think up a lie. Her thought process stopped completely as she was distracted by Chad resting a gentle hand on her cheek. He smiled lovingly at her, pleased that his attempt at calming her down was working. Sonny shivered when he trailed his hand from her cheek, down across her neck, over her shoulder, down her arm, across her stomach...

His smile faded when he felt something wedged between them. He raised an eyebrow in confusion as he felt around before gripping the object in question. Sonny felt panic well up in her stomach. This was the moment she had been trying to avoid for so long, and now...

Chad's expression softened and he chuckled slightly at her. "What's the matter?" he asked as he held the object up.

Sonny's stomach did somersaults when his eyes widened. She'd never seen that look on his face before. She imagined he was pleased that he'd found something he could easily use as a bargaining tool around the studio.

"Where... Where did you get this," he asked her in an eerie whisper.

Sonny wrinkled her nose, choosing to play dumb before she could realize what a stupid idea that was.

"I-I don't know... I don't know where it came from..."

Much to Sonny's surprise, he roughly let go of her and sat up, an angry look plastered on his face.

"Tell me... _Tell me_ you didn't read anything in this book."

Sonny shook slightly, faltering under his glare. She had no idea what had him so worked up...

...Or rather she was denying it.

Because it simply wasn't possible. He and the boy in the journal were worlds apart in their personalities....

"I... I haven't read anything in it," she lied, instantly wishing she hadn't. She was just so nervous that her words seemed to be coming out faster than her mind could process them.

Chad growled under his breath, opening the book up, catching the note that fell out of it. Clearly, it was bookmarking a spot. His knuckles turned white as he clutched the book in one hand, looking at the note in his other hand.

On it was a list of notes about various details in the journal. At the top was the handwritten caption "Facts about author of journal". At the bottom was the printed cursive stationary: "Sonny Munroe".

Sonny shrunk as his entire body shook in anger.

"You-- I can't believe-- I--....."

Sonny shut her eyes tightly when he crumbled up the note and threw it to the ground, approaching her.

"You think you're cute, Munroe? Coming into my dressing room and stealing this from me?!"

Sonny opened her eyes and glared back up at him.

"What?! Don't be so stupid, I _never_ went into your--"

Sonny stopped mid-sentence as she processed what he'd just said...

It was _his_...

There was absolutely no denying it now.

No matter how much she wanted to.

Suddenly, she replayed everything that she'd read in her head, now with the knowledge that Chad had written it. Her expression quickly became worried. This only confirmed, in Chad's mind, that she'd read it.

"Chad... _Chad_... I had no _idea_! I-I know you're mad, but I need answers now... W-Who is this girl, w-why are you so different in these entries?" She paused to gasp. "Chad... Your _parents_... Chad, you have to tell someone, t-they can't hurt you anymore!! If they hurt you again, I-I dunno what I'd..."

Sonny couldn't even get the rest of her words out as she lifted a hand and gently traced the shoulder he'd been favoring with her fingers. She never in a million years would have guessed...

Chad glared down at her, roughly grabbing her wrist and yanking it away from his shoulder. She winced a bit as he squeezed her wrist in his fingers.

"No one's supposed to know about that! Not even you, no matter how much I like you... It was written in there and _only_ there for a _reason_! If you tell anyone, I swear to God, Sonny-- I don't even know what to say. You think it's okay to go snooping in other people's private property? What's _wrong_ with you?!"

Tears fell heavily down her face. She didn't like this sudden change... Just moments ago she was safe in his arms and he was being so tender with her. What happened? If she had just left that damn journal in her purse...

"I-I didn't know it was yours, Chad. I'm so sorry... I found it on the steps outside the studio... I read it because I wanted to find out who it belonged to and return it to them... I wasn't trying to snoop--"

"_Bull_," he interrupted her. "Quit your lying, Sonny. It's annoying, knock it off. You know that bin in the hallway with all the old coats and lunchboxes in it? Yea, that's the freaking _lost and found box,_" he snapped at her.

Sonny nervously fiddled with her fingers. "I-I thought if I left it in there, someone whom it didn't belong to would take it and read it..."

"Gee Sonny, you mean like _YOU DID_?!" he yelled at her. Sonny cringed. It was that day in the cafeteria all over again.

She looked down as more tears came down her face, accompanied by sobs. Chad seemed unmoved.

"I'm so sorry, Chad... I had no idea it was yours... B-But you gotta understand, I-I can't _not_ tell anyone about this... You're being hurt by them... Please Chad, let me help you..."

"_I HATE YOU!_" he spat at her, her words seemingly only heightening his anger. "That's _exactly _ why I didn't want anyone reading this stupid thing! I knew someone like _you_ was going to come around and try to completely destroy my life. I _hate_ you..." He repeated with more venom, lightly shoving her shoulder to emphasize his point.

Sonny's tears fell harder. "Chad..." she said in barely a whisper, "I... I thought you said you loved me..." She couldn't believe the boy she adored had gone from loving her so much to suddenly hating her in a matter of minutes.

"That was the Sonny I _thought_ I knew," he snapped. "Not the dishonest Sonny who steals, snoops, and lies."

Sonny opened her mouth to defend herself, hesitating when she realized she couldn't. All those things were true after all...

"Thanks for the third heartbreak this month, Angelface. You can walk home." He gave her one final shove, harshly yanking his coat off her shoulders before getting into his car, journal in hand, and speeding off, not bothering to look back.

Sonny stood in the cold, staring after him as unshed tears clouded her vision.

A heart-wrenching scream could be heard as Sonny dropped to her knees, anxiously hugging her arms tightly to herself.

She knew just how Chad felt.

Because she was in love with the Chad in the journal. Not the quick-tempered Chad who yelled, shoved, and broke hearts.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** Short sort of filler chapter. I'm sorry about the length of this one guys, but you may notice the end being a bit rushed. I'm exhausted today and didn't wanna ruin the rest of the chapter by trying to rush through more of the plot for the sake of getting it done. I'll try and update tomorrow or the next day.

Love the discussion going on in the reviews :P Some of you are really pissed at Chad for yelling at Sonny, or Sonny for not helping Chad. For the sake of argument, sorry guys, I can't insult abuse victims by pretending that Chad would be so forgiving and kind to Sonny for trying to blow what he's dedicated a good part of his life to covering up. That's real life, sadly. As for Sonny not helping him, we have the advantage of being removed from the situation. Chad blowing up at Sonny is realistically going to detach her a bit from logic and reality, especially at her age. Just my two cents, since you all were giving yours :P

Enjoy!

---

Sonny laid curled in the tightest ball she could muster on the prop room couch, tears heavily falling down her face.

The night before had been pure hell from the moment Chad discovered his journal. She shut her eyes tightly, willing the pain to go away she remembered the night before. As soon as she'd heard the sound of Chad's car disappear, she hung her head, placed her face in her hands and cried harder than she'd cried in her life. It was a lifetime before she'd managed to crawl over to her purse and fish out her cell phone, tearily begging her mother to come pick her up. She, of course, began panicking before Sonny assured her that nothing had happened to her. Her mother had believed her up until she'd said she didn't want to talk about it. Once she was home, she ran straight to her room, flopping down on her bed, crying herself to sleep. She knew her mother was outside the door worrying. Sonny wished she were cruel enough to open the door and demand she leave her alone, as no one could fix a broken heart.

Her classic fairytale night was ruined. And all because she'd been stupid enough to read the journal with him lying right there next to her. It was bound to happen eventually, but at least if it had been later, she still would have had her fairytale night. Now she had nothing.

No love story.

No Chad.

Not even the boy in the journal.

She'd done this to herself, she thought. She couldn't choose between the 'two' boys, and now she had nothing. 'Serves me, right,' she thought, blinking back more tears.

Chad had spent the entire morning avoiding her. He hadn't taken the long way to the rehearsal hall... She kind of expected that. What she didn't expect was to see him go running every time he saw her. She wanted to hug him again, talk to him, apologize for anything and everything she'd done wrong... She'd given up on doing so an hour into her day, though. He simply wasn't going to let her talk to him.

He didn't seem to have any problem with talking _about_ her in the commissary though.

There was no doubt that he thought he was being quiet and underhanded, but she knew it. She knew he was growling under his breath, telling Portlyn what a horrible person she was, and smirking smugly when she would burst out laughing.

A few weeks ago, this wouldn't have bothered her so much. She would have just scoffed, exclaiming to her castmates that she couldn't believe him, and then just ignored him.

That was weeks ago, though.

Before she was in love with him.

Now it stung, knowing the words were coming from the boy she loved with all her heart.

Sonny eventually turned her head to look at him, hoping that maybe her pleading, tear-filled eyes would guilt him to at _least_ stop talking about her.

She instantly regretted doing so when she saw a nasty bruise on the side of his face. More unshed tears filled her eyes; he'd probably told his castmates that he hadn't been paying attention and ran into a door or something. Sonny knew better. She gasped when he caught her eye, staring at her for a moment before glaring intensely at her, as if _daring_ her to tell someone what really happened.

Sonny sighed as she thought on it. She loved him so much and couldn't stand to see him hurt, but she wouldn't tell anyone, she decided. She _couldn't_ tell anyone. Chad hated her right now, but there was always a chance she could salvage their relationship somewhat, even if it they just went back to their bickering like in her first days at the studio. If she told anyone what was happening to him, it was basically insurance that he'd never even consider speaking to her ever again.

She felt sick as she hung her head and let a few tears fall freely. It wasn't fair... It just wasn't fair that this would all be put on her. A million what-if's racked her brain at once. Why did she have to read past the first page of that stupid journal? Why did she have to fall in love with him? Why couldn't his parents just be loving people that would never lay a finger on their only son?

Tawni made a face as she observed her castmate. She wished she knew what had gone down between her and Chad when they'd left the dance last night. Sonny wouldn't tell her, or Nico or Grady for that matter.

"Erm, Sonny..." Grady offered cautiously, almost as though he were worried and wrong word would set her off, "You haven't eaten all day. Maybe you should--"

Before he could finish, Sonny stood up, dumping her untouched lunch in the garbage before hurrying out of the cafeteria. Tawni, Nico, and Grady exchanged worried glances, wondering what Chad had done to her.

Sonny went immediately to the prop house and flopped down on the couch, letting out another long and hard sob. She seemed to be doing that a lot lately... And every time it had been Chad's fault. It was driving her slightly insane.

After what felt like hours of crying, Sonny lifted her head and blinked her puffy eyes a few times, glancing at the clock. She groaned as she noticed she was going to be late for her rehearsal. She shakily forced herself up, wobbling once she was on her feet. She inhaled deeply and attempted to compose herself. She was Sonny Munroe, and Sonny Munroe was an actress. There was no reason she couldn't go down there like nothing had happened.

Taking one last deep breath, she turned on her heel and strode down the hallway. She didn't get far.

"_I HATE YOU!!_"

Sonny turned to look over her shoulder, almost certain that Portlyn couldn't possibly be addressing her. She'd done a pretty good job of avoiding Sonny all day, she had no reason to come screaming at her now.

"This is _your fault_!!" Nope, there was no denying Portlyn was talking to her. About what, though, she wasn't quite sure. She shook as Portlyn backed her into a corner, going absolutely crazy on her.

"You don't know half the crap he puts up with! You don't know him at _all_!! He goes through enough without you making things worse for him!!"

Tears threatened to fall from her eyes again. She knew _very_ well what Chad was going through... Which only made Portlyn correct.

"P-Portlyn, I'm sorry... I-I'm not gonna bother him again--"

"_Shut up_," she snapped. "It's way too late for that. Chad's in his dressing room right now and he won't come out _thanks to you._"

Sonny wrinkled her nose. "You're being a bit overdramatic aren't you? I've been in my room all day too, but you don't see my castmates going bezerk on _you._"

Portlyn glared intently at Sonny. "On the contrary. They just beat the everliving out of him."


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: **Quick update and longer chapter for ya guys to make up for the short and late one last night :) Sorry if this chapter makes it sound like we're coming to the end soon. We're actually not, so don't sweat it :)

Thank you all so much for reviewing! Speaking of which, I'm averaging about 30 reviews a chapter right now. But I have nearly 200 people on alert for this story. To the other 170 people, PLEASE take the time to leave me a review :P I'd love you forever.

Enjoy! :)

---

Tears fell freely down Sonny's face as she knocked on Chad's dressing room door, ice pack and wash cloth in hand. She was surprised she hadn't completely run out of tears by this point; it seemed all she did lately, as far as Chad was concerned, was cry.

She slumped her shoulders when there was no answer. She did hear a small noise from the other side of the door, though. It sounded like a bit of a mix between and a whimper and an attempt to choke back tears, but that was horribly unlike Chad, so she passed it off as imagining things. She bit her lip and knocked a bit harder. The noise immediately stopped.

Still no answer, though...

Sonny hung her head, sick and tired of crying. She couldn't believe her castmates had done this to her, or more appropriately, done this to _him_. She knew they were being super protective of her, she knew they were just doing it to make her feel better. If only they'd known that they'd be doing just the opposite. Her friends getting involved only seemed to make this entire situation worse. Sonny tried to stop herself from becoming angry with them, reminding herself that they were only trying to help. But it just wasn't right of them... They had no idea; _no_ idea; what this poor guy was going through, and they decided to take things into their own hands anyway.

She sighed, resting her forehead on the doorframe, as she thought on the quote the boy in the journal... _Chad_, had written.

'Be kinder than necessary...' she repeated to herself in her head. 'You never know what kind of burden someone is carrying...'

Though she liked the quote, she couldn't help seeing it as just another silly motivator when she'd read it. She never would have guessed it would ever apply to real life, let alone _her _life.

Unfortunately, that was exactly where she found herself now. What-if's circled her head again. What if they had just been kinder than necessary... What if they had only stopped to think that maybe he's going through enough, and doesn't need any more...

Sonny's throat tightened when she realized what she was saying.

She was being a hypocrite.

If she were really doing her best to be 'kinder than necessary', she thought, she would have helped him by now, irregardless of how it would make him feel. She would have loved him so much that she would be willing to risk losing him if it meant making sure he was safe.

Sonny groaned quietly as she felt more tears coming on. Any more crying and she was certain she would shrivel up like a raisin soon.

With a million thoughts still swirling around in her mind, she pulled a hairpin out of her hair and slid it into the lock, turning the handle and opening the door when she heard a click.

Her and Chad both jumped when their eyes made contact. They stared at each other hesitantly, both unsure of what to do.

Finally, Chad twisted his mouth into a sneer.

"The door was locked for a reason. Get out."

Sonny hesitated for a moment as her mind screamed for her to listen to him and just go away.

Unfortunately, her heart wasn't having any of that.

"No, Chad," she said, surprising even herself with the confident tone in her voice. The scowl slid right off Chad's face and was replaced with a shocked expression. Sonny tried her best to keep that confidence up as she walked over and sat down next to him.

"Where does it hurt?" she muttered, gently pushing his bangs back. Chad's expression softened to a slightly more confused one before she glared, prompting him to answer her.

"Um... My head mostly... My stomach, my arms..."

Sonny winced as she gently touched the bruise on the side of his face that had already been there that morning. "And I suppose you're going to tell me that came from running into a door."

Chad stared forward, refusing to look at her. "There's not really a point in lying to you," he mumbled.

Sonny sighed, handing him the ice pack and carefully pressing the washcloth to the side of his face.

"I didn't put them up to that, Chad. I swear I didn't..."

Chad shrugged. "I believe you, actually. They're under the impression I took advantage of you last night."

Sonny made a face. "I think that's what my mom thinks too... I-I would like to defend you, but that would involve... You know, giving out details, which apparently you don't like."

Chad shifted uncomfortably in his spot as Sonny lifted a hand and ran it soothingly up and down his arm. He looked down at her like she was something foreign and dangerous.

"Why are you doing this for me? After last night, you'd think you'd be smart enough to stay away..."

Sonny shrugged, not stopping the soothing motion of her hand.

"I love you," she stated as though it were the most obvious answer in the world. She tried to ignore the look of pure disbelief on his face as his mouth dropped. She snapped her head up to look at him, however, when she heard a small sniffle.

What she saw didn't make a whole lot of sense to her. Chad Dylan Cooper...

With tears in his eyes?

She had to admit, it was a bit unsettling. Chad was always the picture of composure to her. He wasn't scared of anything. Nothing could bring him down. Nothing made him cry.

Now she had a hard time seeing him like that. She searched his eyes and only saw a human being; a scared little boy that needed someone to hold him and tell him the three words he never heard from his parents.

A pained expression found it's way to her face as he finally let the tears fall freely.

"I'm sorry Sonny, I'm so sorry... I don't hate you, I never did... In fact the reason I flipped out on you is because of how much I _love_ you..."

The last few words came out in a dramatic choke. Sonny bit her lip, choosing not to cry, and instead pulling him into a firm hug. She breathed deeply into his hair as he clung to her sleeve, his tears staining her shoulder. Sonny, remembering how much it had calmed _her_ down, began to slowly rock back and forth, running her hand gently up and down his back.

"I love you," she whispered. "It's gonna be okay Chad, I won't let them hurt you anymore, you're going to be safe..." She shut her eyes tight, trying to block out the sound when Chad cried harder.

"Sonny, don't, please... I'll do anything..."

Sonny kept her eyes closed as tightly as possible, biting her lip as more tears welled up in her eyes. It wasn't fair at all that she had to be so strong about this, but she had made up her mind that she would be anyway.

"I promise everything's going to be okay, Chad... I'm going to get you help... I love you..." Sonny was vaguely aware that she was trying to convince her_self_ at this point. Her tears fell heavier when Chad continued pleading with her.

"No Sonny, please... Sonny, I swear, I'll-- I'll break up with you. I won't see you anymore. You can't tell anyone, Sonny... Please... _Please_..."

Sonny kept her eyes closed, inhaling deeply. She knew he was just rambling on. He wouldn't break up with her, she'd get him the help he needed, and everything was going to be okay...

She hoped.

She sighed as she laid back on the couch, taking Chad with her. She stared up at the ceiling with a blank expression, no longer crying. It seemed she had finally run out of tears... She ran a hand through his hair as he clung tightly to her, sobbing in a way Sonny never imagined Chad Dylan Cooper of all people could. Every few moments he would mutter another plea; Sonny only shushed him until he eventually drifted off to sleep, still clinging tightly to her.

It seemed hours had passed before the last trickle of people had left the studio. The automatic lights eventually went out, enveloping the couple in complete darkness. Sonny held Chad tighter as she finally closed her own eyes, letting the hum of silence and the rhythmic sound of Chad's breathing soothe her to sleep.

---

Little role reversal there, usually Chad's the one taking care of Sonny, guess I wanted to be different :P

Thanks you all again for reviewing, please keep it up :) It makes the chapters come faster.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N**: *sigh of relief* Finally got this done! :) I've been pretty busy recently and haven't been able to post this, one, because the site went down for a little bit, two, because I'm getting ready to pitch my book to a few publishers and three, because Twitter keeps distracting me :P So just busy busy busy.

So I feel like Sonny did an okay job describing everything in this chapter, but I do want to re-iterate, yes, Chad acts slightly differently in this chapter because, well, parents don't hit kids on the Disney Channel. I don't think it's unreasonable to assume some tears will be shed in Chad's position, no matter how much of a Hollywood Bad Boy he is. No one's really complained of OOC'ness yet, but I just wanted to be sure that was out there :P Chad will be back to his old self soon, I hope people realize that that's what Sonny's trying to do for him.

Thanks to all my readers, reviewers, lurkers, etc. :) I love you all!! And thank you to those of you who don't usually review and took the time to do so last chapter. I REALLY appreciate it :) Enjoy!

Random thought for this author's note: Am I the only person on this planet who's a Tawni/Grady shipper?

---

Sonny groaned slightly, wiggling around in her uncomfortable position.

She blinked a few times, trying to regaining her eyesight, taking in her surroundings. After a moment or so, she remembered that she'd fallen asleep in Chad's dressing room. A faint emergency light crept through the crack of the door, coming from the hallway.

Finally feeling something heavy on her chest, Sonny looked down.

She smiled at the boy she held securely in her arms. His chest moved lightly up and down, his arms were wrapped tightly around her, and his mouth was open slightly, a teeny hint of drool on the side of his lips.

She smoothed his bangs back, giggling when he smiled faintly in his sleep. She saw nothing more than a scared little boy in her arms. She no longer envisioned the perfect Chad Dylan Cooper with his perfect life, perfect friends, perfect parents...

Now she saw the boy in the journal. The timid, sweet guy that needed her.

She heaved a sigh, running a hand through his hair when his smile faded and was replaced with a pained expression. Several tosses and turns later, she assumed he was having a nightmare.

She bit her lip, pulling him closer to her chest protectively. Her heart ached for him. She shook at the way he looked so helpless in her arms. It terrified her that she couldn't offer him the protection he needed... She hated that she had to ask someone for help, she knew things would never be the same for him, she _hated_ doing this to him...

But she hated the thought of him being hit again even more.

Sonny rubbed his back and whispered a few soothing words when she felt him waking up. She smiled a bit when he lifted his head and looked sleepily up at her. Her heart swelled when he smiled lightly at her.

"Sonny?"

Sonny nodded, running a hand through his hair. "You fell asleep. Good morning..."

Chad's smiled widened a bit, sighing as he rested his head on her chest again, reveling in the unfamiliar feeling of being safe and loved.

"I love you," he whispered. Sonny wrinkled her nose worriedly at his exhausted tone, but appreciated the sentiment nonetheless.

"I love you too," she whispered back, kissing the top of his head. A comfortable silence followed, both of them simply enjoying the feeling of being in each other's arms. Several minutes later, Chad sat up.

"Well... I better get home, my parents were expecting me back before ten last night," he said casually, stretching his arms over his head.

Sonny's eyes widened slightly, sensing a struggle coming on. Clearly he'd forgotten their exchange last night... That or he was choosing to ignore it.

"C-Chad," she said, her voice cracking. She willed herself to be brave, knowing she couldn't let him go back them. "Chad, you're not going home."

She couldn't read the expression he'd made. If she had to guess, she would say it was a mixture of fear, confusion, and anger. He shook his head slowly, standing up and inching for the door.

"N-No Sonny, I need to get home... I'm really late..."

Sonny dove for the door, throwing herself in front of it.

"No Chad, you're not going back," she spat back confidently. Chad's face showed visible anger this time.

"Sonny, you can't tell me what to do, now get out of the way,"

She panicked when he grabbed her waist, easily guiding her away from the door and grabbed the door handle. She threw her arms around his waist making herself as heavy as possible. She shut her eyes and tried to block out his protests as he began struggling against her.

"Let _go_ of me! You don't get it, Sonny! I have to get home!! I'm already in _so_ much trouble for not being back last night... They're gonna _kill_ me, Sonny! The longer I wait, the worse it's gonna get, please Sonny, _please!!_"

Sonny cringed at the way his voice cracked. Keeping her arms firmly around his waist was perhaps the hardest thing she'd ever done in her entire life. She would give anything to be able to let go, stop the heart-breaking sound of his pleas, let him run home and know that he would be safe. If only justice were as kind.

"Chad, stop," she said firmly. "I'm not letting you go back there. I love you too much to do that to you, _stop_..."

She felt him tense up, most likely due to the tone in her voice, and he finally stopped struggling. Eventually he turned around and pulled her into a hug, desperately willing himself to not cry as she rubbed his back.

"I--I don't know what I'm going to do, Sonny..."

Sonny shook slightly, absolutely terrified that this boy's future basically lied in her hands. She hated that she was currently the one causing him so much pain. She inhaled deeply, making a decision. She wanted to give herself a bit more time to find a way to approach this situation and, more importantly, she wanted Chad to have time to calm down before she threw his life completely off balance.

"...You need some time to relax, Chad. Why don't you... come back to my house for a little bit? We can leave after work today..."

She smiled affectionately when he sniffled into her shoulder. "What's your mom gonna say?"

Sonny patted his back gently.

"I'll tell her your parents are out of town and that you didn't want to be alone. She'll definitely go for that."

"And when my mom flips her lid and calls the police on me?" he mumbled into her shoulder.

Sonny sighed, pulling away from him and lifting his chin.

"I just need you to trust me, okay?"

---

Sonny smiled as Chad clung gently to her arm. It had been obvious on the entire drive back that Chad had been attempting to regain _some_ of his dignity, often only succeeding in losing more of it. Sonny tried to assure him that it didn't bother her. She was become less scared and more fond of this side of Chad. This Chad was honest, pure, human... He had faults and got scared like everyone else. Understandably so he wouldn't act so tough and uncaring, considering what he was going through. It made her giggle the way he tried to cover up this more human side to him. It reminded her that there was still _some_ Chad Dylan Cooper in there, even in the face of fire.

Sonny pulled her keys out of her pocket, unlocking the apartment door and walking inside.

_"Allison Melody Munroe, you are in _big_ trouble!!_"

Sonny sighed, followed by a slight wince when Chad's grip tightened on her arm. She noticed him shaking slightly when her mother came storming out of the kitchen, making a beeline for Sonny. The look in her eyes was all too familiar to him.. She was going to hit her... He just _knew_ it.

"Do you have any idea how out of my mind with worry I've been?" she snapped, grabbing Sonny...

Into a hug.

He hadn't been expecting that...

Sonny rolled her eyes with a smile as she hugged her mother back. "I'm sorry Mummy... Chad and I got a little caught up in work at the studio and we sort of fell asleep..."

Chad looked on in awe at the mother and daughter as she pulled away from Sonny, placing a gentle hand on her cheek and smiling at her.

"Give me a call next time, okay baby girl?"

Sonny smiled back and nodded. "Yes, Mom. I promise."

Chad bit his lip as an unpleasant feeling welled up in his stomach. Had he not grown up getting everything he wanted, he might have recognized the feeling as jealousy.

"Hello, Chad!" her pleasant voice greeted him. "What brings you here?" Chad shifted his weight nervously from foot to foot before answering.

"Oh, erm... My parents are... out of town, and Sonny--"

"I told him he could stay here until they get back," she finished confidently for him, sensing his discomfort. He was surprised when her mother smiled.

"Well of course he can," she answered before giving Sonny a serious look. "Granted there's no funny business going on in that room at night."

Sonny blushed, looking down at the ground. "_Mooom_!" she groaned.

Sonny smiled sheepishly when her mother laughed, turning to address Chad.

"Well you're always welcome here, sweetie. There's cookies in the oven and blankets in the closet, so make yourself at home."

Chad nodded shyly while Sonny's face lit up.

"_Tell_ me they're homemade, Mummy..."

She did a little happy dance in her spot when her mother nodded. Sonny took Chad's hand and led him off to her room as instructed by her mother, and sat down, placing the blankets in her lap. She sighed contently, looking over at Chad, surprised at his still gloomy demeanor.

"... Chad? What's wrong?" She didn't understand... She thought coming here would help him relax. She knew her mom was a very gentle and doting person; she was _sure_ that would be the ticket to cheering him up.

Instead, he buried his face in her shoulder again and cried.

Sonny sniffled, turning and hugging him.

"I'm sorry Chad... Please tell me what's wrong?"

Chad sighed deeply, refusing to look up at her. "Your mom's so nice... I didn't really expect it, I guess... I'm... I'm really...."

"...Jealous?" Sonny offered. She closed her eyes when he nodded.

"You're not jealous of me, Chad. My life's not that rosy. My mother hates Hollywood, we can get really into our arguments sometimes... I don't have a father..."

"I'd rather have no father at all than one that insists on how worthless you are..."

Sonny sighed and shook her head. "And I'd do anything, including taking on a little abuse, to have my father back..."

Chad held her a little tighter. "You don't know what you're saying, Sonny." He lifted a hand and gently stroked her hair. "You're the most beautiful and sweet girl I've ever met... You don't deserve that. From anyone."

Sonny shivered slightly, feeling the familiar scared sensation welling up insider her again. She scooted closer to him and rester her head on his chest.

"Sounds like we could both learn a few things from each other..." she sighed. "I'm sorry Chad, I'm trying to be strong for you, but... Truth be told, I'm a real baby sometimes... I'm used to being taken care of, I've never really had to take care of someone else before..."

Chad smiled, leaning over and placing a kiss on her cheek. "How about we both take care of each other?"

Sonny beamed up at him. "Deal."

She closed her eyes contently as he laid back on her bed, taking her with him. They stayed in each other's arms in silence for quite some time before Chad's even breathing indicated to Sonny that he'd gone to sleep. The lights went off outside her room, indicating her mother had left for bed as well. She smiled, gently maneuvering her way out of his arms and carefully pulling her blanket up over him.

She stopped in her tracks when she heard him mumble something at her. She turned around to face him again.

"Hmm? What was that, Chad?"

"Don't tell anyone, Sonny... Promise me you won't tell... I'm trusting you..."

Sonny bit her lip, nodding reluctantly. At the moment she was more concerned with him getting some rest, and even more concerned with making sure she didn't have to hear the heart-shattering sound of him crying again.

"Y-Yes, Chad... I promise..." Anything to make him happy...

She brushed a few bangs from his forehead, smiling as she left her room, making her way to the kitchen for a glass of water.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when she turned the light on and found her mother sitting at the table, gripping a mug of coffee, staring intently at her daughter.

"Sonny, what's really going on here?" she asked seriously.

Sonny's heart raced, realizing she was caught. She wished she didn't have to be in the position. She wished she'd never found that stupid journal. She wished she had just passed it by, or at least thrown it in the lost and found box, so she could fall in love with the old Chad and be blissfully ignorant to what went on with him behind closed doors.

She swallowed nervously as she turned her head to gaze at her closed bedroom door, knowing Chad was asleep on the other side, none the wiser.

"...Alright," she said after a slight pause, pulling up a chair. "It all started on the steps of the studio two months ago..."


	13. Author's Note

To all my readers,

I apologize for the delay in this story. I read all your reviews and hope you know I feel guilty every time I get one this late in the game. I know it's been a while.

Unfortunately my employer is undergoing a massive budget cut and they will be laying off a lot of people next year. (And I'm talking a LOT of people.) One entire department of jobs is going to be laid off and unfortunately, I hold one of those jobs.

So basically that means I need to get my butt in gear and finish writing my book. This is a big step towards my career that could mean the difference between whether or not I have a job next year, so I really need to focus on that.

So I have to put this story on hiatus. I'm not deleting it and I'm not abandoning it. There's only two chapters to go and I'll get them up as soon as possible. As of right now though, every second counts, and I need to be writing my book instead of writing for this fic.

I hope you can all understand; if it didn't mean the difference between having a job, I wouldn't put this story on the shelf. Unfortunately though, I have to line up my priorities correctly.

Rest assured, I will come back to this story as soon as my book is written and I begin the pitching process.

Should it hit shelves or should I go the route of self-publishing, I'll be relying on most of you to buy a copy and give it a chance ;) Your support has been amazing and overwhelming and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for understanding.

I'll finish my book and have these last two chapters up in no time, guys. Promise. Love ya all.

-Mia 3


	14. Chapter 13

**A/N**: Woah, an update from me, ferreals?? Yes it's true! :D As I said in the last oneshot I did, I realized that I have plenty of time to get my book finished over the Summer, and relaxed a bit.

Mom also informed me that it wasn't a good idea to lose my fanfiction fanbase, considering I'll be relying to heavily on you guys when my book comes out ;)

Sorry for the delay on this. You are all so sweet for being so super-patient. I lied about there being two chapters left, there's still two more after this one. I had to split this one up since it was getting so long. Interesting little twist made it's way into this chapter, so I had to spread it out. Some naughty words in this chapter fyi, but since it's rated T, I'm guessing we can all handle it, right? Good :P

_I want to thank each and every one of you for your kind words, encouragement and support. And I do mean EVERYONE who has reviewed this fic. I read all your reviews and your words stay with me, truly. As someone who is trying to go through the scary process of getting a book published, your words, encouragement, and sweet comments about my writing mean more than you could possibly know, and I'll be sure to credit my success to the reviewers on this story when I finally get it out there. :D You all give me the confidence necessary to do something so huge. Thank you again, all of you!!_

Enough of my blabbering, Hope you all enjoy :)

Please follow me on Twitter: MiaTurner. Lemee know you're from ff . net :)

---

"And where is Chad Dylan Cooper living these days?"

Sonny shifted in her seat uncomfortably. She knew this question was coming. People had been hounding her about it all week. And with Chad, his publicist, his family, and pretty much everyone involved refusing to say a word, she knew from the get-go that she would be the next target.

"Well, uh, Santiago, he's... Er..."

Sonny bit her lower lip, trying desperately to concentrate. It was difficult with the way Marshall was trying to coach her from off the the set, however.

He'd pulled Sonny aside earlier and told her exactly what she needed to do in this interview to fix this whole problem. In a nutshell, he wanted her to lie. He instructed her to say she knew absolutely nothing about what was happening with Chad, and that the rumors floating around that they were dating were just that: rumors. She felt uncomfortable with lying, but it didn't seem like bad advice, really. Anything to get the press off her back.

"I don't know," she finally answered with a shrug. To be honest, she wasn't lying _that_ much. In actuality, she knew about as much as everyone else. The last time she'd seen Chad was when she'd put him to bed in her room a week ago. After she spoke with her mother, and she insisted on calling the police, Sonny thought it would be wise to disappear for a few days so as not to be on the receiving end of Chad's temper.

Santiago raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Really? No idea what's going on with him at all?"

Sonny shook her head. "No, sorry. Why would I know something like that?"

A smirk crossed his face. "Because according to a rumor floating around, Chad is your new main squeeze."

"That's not true," Sonny answered confidently. "We just go to work at the same studio. There's nothing going on between us."

Santiago shook his head. "Forgive us if we find that hard to believe. We all suspected you two might have had a crush on each other from the beginning."

Sonny shrugged again. "Sorry to disappoint you."

She hated doing this. She tried to remember that it was better to keep everything under wraps, and if that meant lying, then so be it.

"Come on Sonny, we know what's really going on," he pressed, nudging her slightly with his elbow. "Tell us what's going on with Chad."

Sonny was finding it increasingly difficult to stay pleasant. Santiago made a career out of overstepping boundaries, but this issue was far deeper than puppy-shoving or teen love.

"I don't know what's happening," Sonny insisted, quickly rolling her eyes at the way Marshall was frantically waving his hands from behind the camera, motioning for her to not say a word.

"Sonny," Santiago continued, leaning forward slightly. "The fans have a right to know."

Sonny's eyes widened. She felt the blood rushing quickly to her head. Her temper was boiling so hot, her palms were beginning to sweat. The horrified look on her face must have been evident, as Marshall's hands flew to his head, mouthing to himself what Sonny imagined were colorful obscenities.

That had done it though. She didn't care who was watching or what was expected of her. She was done being fake for today.

"I'll be honest with you Santiago," Sonny began calmly. He nodded expectantly. "I'm extremely offended by how casually you're tossing this subject around."

A shocked expression crossed his face for a brief moment before, Sonny imagined, he realized that her outburst would only boost his ratings anyway.

"You don't agree that they have a right to know?"

Sonny clenched her fists tightly. "No, they don't have a right to know. I will tell you what everyone already knows: Chad's parents hit him. As for what happened to his parents, or where he is right now, or what either of us feels about the whole thing, I'm not going to say a word."

"Yes Sonny, of course, and we totally respect that!" Santiago insisted, not forgetting to flash a smile for the camera. "But tell us," he continued, his expression serious again, "Did you notice any strange behavior before this occurred? Any unexplainable injuries or interesting stories? Anything?"

Sonny briskly stood up from her chair without a word, removing the clip-on mic from her shirt, ignoring the frantic waving Marshall was doing. The room seemed deadly quietly as she slammed the mic down on the small end-table that sat between the two chairs and stormed across the set for the exit. A voice stopped her dead in her tracks.

"And Sonny Munroe walks out on our interview." She turned to see Santiago facing the camera again. "It seems Hollywood's previously known 'good girl' just can't accept that the fans care about Chad Dylan Cooper too. Coming up next, Ashley Tisda--"

Santiago stopped speaking as Sonny made a beeline for him, stopping right in front of his chair. She imagined she looked unreasonably angry, as she could swear she saw the security guard in the corner tense slightly.

"You don't care about him," Sonny whispered, her voice threateningly quiet. "You and his 'millions of fans' don't even know him. Do you want to know who the real Chad is, Santiago?" she asked, her voice dripping with venom. "I think you're all in for quite the shocker. The real Chad Dylan Cooper is a sweetheart. He cares about the people close to him. He gets lonely sometimes. And believe it or not? He has feelings like everyone else does. He won't show any of that because of people like you getting into his business with the excuse that you just 'care'."

Sonny wasn't sure, but she could swear she saw Santiago sink in his chair slightly as she took a step forward and hovered over him.

"Listen to me, and listen very carefully," she whispered, her eyes narrowing. "This isn't gossip, this is real life. And if you insist on tearing Chad down while something very real is happening to him, then you're no better than his parents were." With that, Sonny stood up, storming off the set, not caring that she'd probably given Marshall a heart attack.

She turned back only once to see Santiago nervously adjust his tie and look back at the camera.

"W-With Tween Weekly news, I-I'm Santiago Heraldo."

Sonny would have been pleased with how terrified he sounded, if she weren't so upset.

---

"Sweetheart, it's fine. I think you did an excellent job."

Sonny sniffed quietly, shaking her head, as she clung to her mother's arm.

"I'm in so much trouble... Marshall's gonna kill me..."

Connie patted Sonny's shoulder gently, hugging her close. "If he does, so be it. You were honest today and stood up for Chad and I think you're very brave."

Sonny smiled slightly. "You're my mom, you have to say that."

Connie smiled back, planting a light kiss on her daughter's head. "I'm proud of you, Sonny."

She didn't respond. Instead she looked down and fiddled with her skirt before her mother spoke again.

"Chad's doing alright, dear." The mention of Chad's name made Sonny look back up with interest. "He was rather upset when the police arrived, but they took him to his grandparents' house, so he's just fine."

Sonny smiled briefly, though it quickly fell into a frown again. "What if they're just as bad?"

"I doubt that," Connie answered. "When they heard the news they seemed really devastated. And I'm fairly certain the cops did their homework before putting him there."

Sonny nodded slightly, wiping her eyes. "I ran into Chastity on set this morning. She was actually really nice... She told me Chad's parents lost custody for good this morning."

Connie nodded. "That's a good thing isn't it?"

Sonny shrugged. "I don't know. I think he'll be pretty upset. And he never said much about what he thinks of his grandparents in his jour--"

Sonny stopped, closing her eyes, feeling another meltdown coming on. That stupid journal... That had been the cause of this whole mess. She chided herself for thinking life might be easier if she'd never found it. If she'd never found it, Chad would still be suffering.

"I-- Would it be okay if I visited him, Mum?"

Connie smiled and nodded. "That might be just what he needs right now."

---

Sonny nervously knocked on the door of Chad's grandparent's house. She double-checked the address scribbled on the crumpled sticky note in her hand. Their house was certainly a lot more modest than the mansion-sized house Chad had lived in with his parents. In fact, it was charmingly normal. Pretty flowers in the front yard, an small American flag waving above the garage, a simple, typical home.

Sonny tensed when the door finally opened. She was greeted by a woman who seemed rather young to be a grandparent, but she was definitely Chad's grandmother. The greying blonde hair and bright blue eyes tipped her off to that. It was amazing, in fact, how much of Chad he saw in her. Especially when she smiled warmly, opening the screen door for her.

"You must be Sonny..."

Sonny smiled shyly and nodded, taking a step inside. "Yes... That's me," she muttered nervously. Sonny took a look around the living room. She smiled as she noted a variety of pictures of Chad over the years on the mantle.

"I saw the interview this morning," she spoke as she closed the door behind them. "You don't know what it means to us."

Sonny blushed a bit, scratching the back of her neck. "Oh, i-it was nothing..."

His grandmother smiled again, gesturing to the stairs. "Well Chaddy's upstairs in his room if you want to speak to him. I'm sure he'll be thrilled to see you."

Sonny politely thanked her before heading for the stairs. She wasn't so sure that Chad would be exactly 'thrilled' to see her, but a girl could dream, right?

She knocked quietly on what she assumed to be his door, but no response came. She knocked again a little louder and was surprised to hear Chad's voice.

"Go away, Gramma."

Sonny sighed. "It's me, Chad..."

"...Sonny?"

Sonny's heart stopped at the sound of his voice. He sounded rather surprised. She wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. Taking a deep breath, she stepped inside.

"Hey Chad," she greeted, smiling softly at him. The sight was rather humbling. Chad clearly hadn't been in this room in a while. The small corkboard above his bed was adorned with drawings that appeared to be done in elementary school, all sloppily signed "CDC" in the corner, and a small pile of stuffed animals lay in the corner adjacent to his bed. A duffel bag and box sat unopened next to his bed. His closet door was still open, half his clothes hung up neatly and half strewn on the floor, clearly indicating that Chad had given up on unpacking halfway through.

Chad was lying flat on his stomach on his bed in a simple red t-shirt and jeans. She liked seeing him this way. It was so... human.

She would have liked it more if the puffiness of his eyes hadn't indicated that he was crying and hadn't gotten much sleep. She sighed, walking over and sitting on the edge of the bed. She lifted a hand to rub his back, wincing slightly when he flinched.

"What are you doing here?" Chad asked, narrowing his eyes at her.

Sonny's heart sank. "Visiting you. I wanted to make sure you were alright..." She reached out, brushing a few bangs out of his eyes. Chad sat up a bit and glared at her.

"Yeah, I'm peachy. The cops came and took me out of my home and I may very well never see my parents again. But yeah, I'm just great!"

Sonny cringed a bit at the harsh tone of his words. "Chad, please, I only wanted to help you..."

"You promised me, Sonny!" he snapped. "You promised me you wouldn't tell _anyone_!!"

"What was I supposed to do, Chad?!" Sonny snapped back, surprising both of them. "Let you go back there and get smacked around some more? Do you realize how much I care about you, Chad? Did you even _see_ the interview I did this morning?"

"Yea, I saw it," he growled. "What, you think you're some kind of hero? None of this would be happening if it wasn't for you!"

Sonny wasn't sure what was possessing her to finally stand up for herself, but she'd had enough. "I did it _for_ you, Chad!! I stood up for you and am going to get _weeks_ of flak from my director. I put my job on the line for you!"

Chad glared at her again. "You didn't do _shit_," he spat. "You ruined everything."

"Ruined _everything_?" Sonny cried. "Chad, your parents are the ones who hit you, _not_ me!"

Chad buried his face in his pillow again. "Get out of here Sonny, I don't want to talk to you. I thought I could trust you and instead you ruined my life."

Sonny clenched her fists and stood up, glaring down at him.

"I ruined your life? You mean by giving you love and affection? By taking you out of a place where you were getting hurt? By getting you the help you needed? By letting them take you to a place where you're loved and cared for?" Sonny narrowed her eyes. "They adore you, Chad. I've known them for two minutes and it's already clear to me."

"Great. Doesn't stop this place from being Hell on Earth," he mumbled.

Sonny caught a choke in the back of her throat as unshed tears threatened to fall from her eyes.

"No Chad, do you want to know what Hell on Earth is?" Her voice became dangerously low. "Hell on Earth is only having your mother, and nothing else left in the world. Hell on Earth is running from your family to Wisconsin on the other side of the country when you're only six because my own mother couldn't take the abuse anymore. Hell on Earth is knowing that if I were ever in your position? I'd be in foster care right now. No family to care for and pamper me like you're getting right now."

Tears were freely falling down Sonny's face now. She noted the shocked expression Chad had on his face,

"Yea, interesting little twist isn't it? Never would have guessed that I've seen abuse happen in my own home, huh? Too bad there was no journal to inform you of that."

Chad didn't say a word. For once, it seemed he was at a loss for any.

"Well I have. I've seen my grandparents do the most horrible things to my mother after Dad died... And you know what she did? She got us out of there before anything could happen to _me_. She didn't sit around and whine about how I ruined her life by making her get out of there."

Chad only continued staring ahead at Sonny, tears now threatening to fall from _his_ eyes.

"I'm sorry Chad. I'm sorry I couldn't see what happened to my mother, happen to you too. I'm sorry my mom called the police because she knew first hand what you were going through. I'm sorry I ruined your perfect, superstar life. I'm sorry I stood up for you today." Sonny stormed for the exit, stopping at the doorway. "When you get your head together and realize what's right, you'll know what to say," she muttered. "And I'll be waiting for you. I promise."

Chad stood up, a panicky look suddenly crossing his face. "Sonny wait, please don't break up with me--"

"I'll see you when you know what's right, Chad," she insisted before walking out the door. She ignored the confused stares his grandparents gave her as she ran down the stairs and out the door.

Her legs, seemingly unable to support her weight anymore, collapsed underneath her, and she sat outside the door crying harder than she had in a long, long time.


	15. Chapter 14

**A/N**: One more chapter to go after this one, peeps :( I gotta say, I'm really sad. This is the first multi-chapter story I will ever see to completion. (The Invader Zim one I wrote back when I sucked does NOT count :P) I will try and come up with more multi-chapter ideas, but if you have an idea you'd like to see, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me know!!! I will credit you and start writing it ASAP.

Thank you all again for your kind words :) I feel like this chapter is kind of weak in comparison to the others, but you tell me. Again, I haven't gotten any complaints of OOC'ness, but to ward off such things, I think it should be noted that Sonny and Chad have been through a lot in this story, and dramatic, if not temporary, personality changes are realistically what humans go through when such situations are thrust upon them.

Also, anyone who knows me on Twitter knows I named Chad's mother Leila in my own little fandom :P I changed my mind here and gave the name to his gramma instead, sorry! :P Life happens, haha.

Hope you all enjoy this little insight into why Chad is such a grouchy, conceited little guy :)

---

Leila knocked gently on her grandson's door, leaning closer to listen for any movement.

No answer.

"Chaddy-bear, come out..."

She heard a small groan on the other side; probably a response to the nickname.

"Please open the door, sweetie? I just want to talk."

"Go away," came his muffled voice behind the door.

Leila sighed before a smirk crossed her face. "I made cookies."

A small pause...

"...Are they chocolate chip?"

She smiled. "Yes."

A few footsteps later and the door was open. Leila shook her head with a smile as she walked inside and sat down on his bed, patting the spot next to her.

Chad didn't say a word as he sat. Aside from the fact that he had no idea what to say, he didn't feel much like talking. Sonny had completely blown it with his parents, and now he'd completely blown it with Sonny. Everything in his life seemed to be disappearing. He reached over to the small plate his grandmother had set down, taking one of the cookies. He was disappointed to find that he could really on nibble at it, considering how much his stomach was hurting.

Leila sighed when Chad folded his hands in his lap and looked away. She'd been content to leave Chad alone and let him have his privacy since he'd gotten here, but she couldn't let this one go; she hated seeing him this way.

"So... What did you and Sonny talk about?"

Chad's expression didn't change, much to her surprise. He simply kept staring forward, focusing on a spot on his closet.

"I blew it," he finally murmured. "It really doesn't matter what we talked about because Sonny's gone and it's my fault... She hates me."

Leila frowned, pulling her grandson into a tight hug. "No one could hate you, Chaddy."

Chad sighed heavily, remaining limp in her arms. "Sonny does. I'll never see her again..."

"Something tells me that isn't the case," she responded, giving him a stern look.

Chad sighed again. "... Fine. She told me that she'll get back with me when I 'know what's right'." He groaned, covering his face with his hands. "I don't even get what she means or what I'm supposed to do..."

There was a long pause... Neither said a word for several long minutes before Leila chose to speak again.

"This isn't the first time your parents were irresponsible, you know," she began. Chad looked up at her, slightly shocked. She seemed to be getting upset with the new subject she'd brought up. He'd never seen her anything but chipper before. "They made bad choices... They had a child at sixteen, they didn't do their jobs as parents, they put you through the destroyer of youth we call 'show business'."

"Is this supposed to be making me feel better?" Chad murmured. "And besides, I really do like my job..."

Leila sighed. "The point I'm trying to make is that no one here has ever been against you except them. Not me, not your grandfather, and not Sonny. Perhaps she's upset because you're treating _her_ like the abuser in all this."

Chad's eyes widened slightly. His conscious has been screaming this at him for hours, but it was different hearing it from someone else. "W-What do you mean?"

Leila pulled Chad closer to her. "I mean, you're defending the people that hurt you and lashing out at the people who really, truly care about you." Chad looked down at his lap, a small lump forming in his throat. Leila lifted a hand to gently run her fingers through his hair. "Your grandfather and I love you very much, Chaddy." She spoke quietly, almost too quiet for Chad to hear over his numerous, noisy thoughts. "We never intended to 'ruin' anything. All we want is the best for you. A-And when we heard that they would even _contemplate_ laying a finger on you--"

Chad looked up at the sound of his grandmother's voice cracking. She pressed her fist to her mouth, a few stray tears escaping her eyes. For some reason, that was when it finally hit him:

He wasn't the only victim in all this.

Every smack his parents ever gave him might as well have been a smack to everyone he cared about... Including Sonny.

And Chad... He'd smacked them right back. He'd defended the people in the wrong all while viciously attacking everyone in the right. He felt his actions were no better than his parents'.

Leila spoke again once she seemed to have collected herself. "I know it's hard, dear. They're your parents, and no one wants to be put in a position where they have to turn on them... But we don't want you to be miserable now that you're in a safer place. Please just think about it a bit..."

Chad only stared ahead, drowning once again in a sea of thoughts.

Leila finally hugged Chad close to her, gave him a loving peck on the forehead, and stood up to leave.

Chad finally gathered up the courage to speak once she reached the doorway.

"Uh, Gramma..."

Leila stopped, turning to face him. "Yes, dear?"

"Um... I love you, you know."

Leila beamed at him. "I love you too. Sweet dreams, Chaddy-bear."

Chad sighed as she turned out the light and exited the room, leaving him on the edge of his bed in the darkness.

Sonny was right, after all. He'd been so blinded by anger that he completely missed how much his grandparents really did adore him... How much _Sonny_ adored him.

It was nearly and hour before Chad moved from his spot, grabbing his jacket and rushing down the stairs.

---

A knock on the door made Sonny groan. It was nearly midnight. She'd been sitting on the couch in her pajamas, eating ice cream straight out of the carton, trying to watch anything _but_ Mackenzie Falls. She'd thought Tawni was crazy when she told Sonny that such practices were the cure to a broken heart, but she was surprised to see that it was helping a little. Or perhaps the ice cream was simply numbing it temporarily...

She muted the television, standing up and trudging over to the doorway. She stood on her toes to look through the peephole and was shocked to see a very nervous-looking Chad standing outside. Sonny quickly unlocked the door and opened it for him, not caring that her hair was a mess and that she was standing before him in yellow pajamas and pink bunny slippers.

"Chad..." she greeted.

"Sonny."

Sonny tried desperately to fight a smile at this. It was so similar to how they spoke in the first days they'd met.

"Listen," he said, "...I'm so sorry..."

Sonny seemed unmoved. "I know you're sorry. That was never a surprise to me. I've been waiting to hear something else."

"I know," Chad answered. "B-But... I know what you meant... I know what's right... I know what to say now." Sonny unfolded her arms, her expression softening slightly. Chad dug through the pocket of his leather jacket, producing a note that he quickly began to unfold. "I wrote it down," he explained, smiling sheepishly.

Sonny smiled softly, leaning against the doorframe, ready to hear what he had to say. Chad cleared his throat before reading.

"Sonny Munroe," he began. "When I first met you, I thought I couldn't stand you. I hated the way you laughed all the time, that stupid grin you'd give everyone, and the way you always seemed so sugary polite. I hated it because it made me uncomfortable. It only took me a few days to realize that it made me uncomfortable because I was in love with you."

He paused to take a deep breath.

"I was hooked from the start. Love at first sight was always a silly concept in my eyes; it even felt ridiculous on Mackenzie Falls. And here you come along, trying to ruin my firm disbelief of such ridiculous ideas. I hated it...

"But I didn't want you to stop. I wanted to hear you giggle everyday. I lived for that sickly sweet smile. I secretly enjoyed hearing the way your voice would go up an octave when you were being polite to someone. Well... You're probably already aware that I'm in love with you, so... Why am I even saying this?"

Chad paused again to scratch the back of his neck.

"Because I believe you're already familiar with one of my favorite quotes: 'Be kinder than necessary. You never know what kind of burden someone is carrying.' I've never had a problem with manipulating, teasing, or hurting the people around me... I... think I believed that if my parents were allowed to hurt me, I could hurt whoever I wanted too. It only seemed fair that the people around me have to suffer so long as I do... I would have defended my parents to the death because I really, truly believed that I deserved every hit I got, and that all I had to do was go out into the world and hurt someone else just as bad to make the pain go away."

Chad took another deep breath, his voice getting quieter this time.

"Then I hurt _you_...

"And I don't think I was ever the same again. I felt like I'd hurt an angel... The last person on Earth deserving of any kind of hate or hurtful actions. A-And suddenly it was like I could see the world again. There were people around me, a-and they had feelings just like I did. I can't say I did a 360 change... I probably still wouldn't think anything of a hurtful comment to anyone else. But _you..._"

Sonny noted that Chad's hands were shaking as he held the paper in front of him.

"I hurt you and it was like it turned right back around and hurt twice as hard. Almost as though the universe were punishing me for trying to hurt an angel...

"I'm sorry I hurt you, Sonny... I'm sorry that I said you ruined my life when you're the one perfect thing that came into it and made it right again--"

Sonny held her hand up, indicating for him to stop.

"Chad... It sounds too scripted when you read it... Speak from the heart," she whispered.

Chad made a face before lowering the paper and finally putting it back in his pocket.

"Sonny, nothing ever really made sense to me until you came along," he whispered back. "And I can't believe I almost let you walk away in favor of the most poisonous thing in my life..." He took a step forward, holding her face gently in his hands. "If I ever lost you, Sonny, I'd die. All the abuse in the world could never top that kind of pain..."

Sonny closed her eyes, easily relenting to the gentle kiss he placed on her lips. She reached up to wrap her arms around his neck, reveling in the electricity it sent through every last inch of her body. She'd missed this so much...

They finally pulled away seconds later, and Sonny had had enough. She covered her face with her hands, letting out a long, hard sob.

Chad hugged her close, not bothering to ask what was wrong. He had a fairly good idea. It had been a long couple of months, and the drama was finally coming to an end; it would be overwhelming for anyone. He hugged her tightly to his chest, rocking back and forth gently. It seemed like they stood there for an eternity, though only a few minutes had passed. Sonny looked positively exhausted. He tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear before carefully lifting her up and walking her back to the couch. He laid down first, placing her on top of him, never letting his hold on her go. Sonny sighed in relief, resting her head on his chest and falling asleep easily.

That had gone so much better than Chad anticipated...


	16. Chapter 15

**A/N: **And here we are folks :( The very last chapter of The Journal. This is a very huge and sad step for me, being it's the first multi-chapter fic I've ever seen to completion, not to mention my biggest and most popular story so far.

This is a short chapter, being that it's just an epilogue of sorts. I hope you enjoy it.

I thank you all for your kind words and your amazing support of both this story, and the novel I'm writing. It truly leaves me speechless. I thank you all for following along as I write my book and thank you for following Chad and Sonny's journey in this story.

Tomorrow I will start on a new multi-chapter story, so please keep me on your alert if you want more! :)

I can't guarantee it will be up tomorrow, as I have a lot of research to do. Much like I had to do my research about abuse victims before doing this story, I will have to tread just as carefully with the next story I'm going to do. No spoilers for you here, but I will more than likely pick it up from where The Journal leaves off. I will get that started ASAP and hope I can carry all my fans over from this story to that one :)

Thank you again. Enjoy the final chapter!!

---

Chad sat motionless on the cold brick, smiling softly to himself as he watched Sonny.

She was skipping and dancing around the mostly deserted drawbridge in front of the Disneyland castle, a cheap, plastic tiara on her head, waving a light up flower in her hand. The moonlight and twinkling lights from the castle spectacularly lit up her soft features.

He saw so much in Sonny that he could never explain... The innocence she held, the way she was made so happy by the littlest things, that pure, utterly unrivaled beauty...

There was no doubt in Chad's mind that Sonny was simply an angel from heaven that the earth was borrowing for a little while. There was no other explanation for such selflessness, such kindness, such undebatable _perfection_.

The world around her sang. Colors were more vibrant. The gloomiest of days were made bright. It simply wasn't human.

Chad was shaken from his thoughts when Sonny dashed his way, plopping herself in his lap.

"So Superstar," she giggled, poking his nose, "How was your first ever trip to Disneyland?"

Chad smirked, wrapping his arms securely around her waist. "I could have done without being forced to eat at Pizza Port three times, but I suppose it's a small price to pay to spend a nice day with you."

Sonny smiled innocently. "Can't resist their pasta, sorry," she explained with a shrug of her shoulders.

Chad laughed. "Great. And now it's gonna start showing here," he said, poking her in the stomach, causing Sonny to giggle. "And here, and here, and here," he continued, punctuating each word with a playful poke until he was full on tickling her. Sonny threw her head back, laughing uncontrollably and pleading for him to stop. When she finally seemed out of breath, he relented, pulling her closer to him and planting a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"I love you so much," he whispered to her with all the meaning in the world, running a thumb gently back and forth across her cheek.

Sonny blushed, shyly placing a kiss of her own on his cheek before resting her head on his chest. She giggled softly when he rested his chin on the top of her head.

"What?" He asked, rubbing circles on her back.

"Just that... Seeing you so happy again... I've missed it so much. I'd give anything in the world to keep you happy like this..."

Chad smirked, fixing the collar of his leather jacket. "I _am_ pretty damn amazing, aren't I?"

Sonny remembered a day when this would positively infuriate her. Now, it made her smile. Chad was getting back to normal, the emotional scars his parents left on him slowly healing...

She'd fallen in love so easily with _this_ Chad... He was conceited, dramatic, and absolutely full of it. But she wouldn't take him any other way.

Sonny swung her legs back and forth happily, staring down at her black converse, fingering the sparkling pedals on her light up flower.

"So," she finally spoke up after a brief pause. "What will your next journal entry be about?"

Chad sighed contently, running his hand through her hair. "About a beautiful girl who threw me for the loop of my life. And how she'll always be mine as long as we live..." He smiled as he leaned down, nuzzling his nose against hers. "So long as she _never_ reads my journal again."

Sonny giggled again, wrapping her arms around his neck and resting her forehead against his. Bliss didn't begin to describe it. She still got goosebumps whenever his skin made contact with hers. A pleasant shiver travelled up her spine as he placed his hand on her cheek, kissing her deeply.

Sonny suddenly pulled away, causing their lips to part with a loud smacking sound.

"Oh! This is my favorite part of the castle medly!" she exclaimed, referring to the song that was now playing from the hidden speakers.

She remained on Chad's lap, swaying gently and humming to the music. "My heart has wings, and I can fly..."

Chad smiled, lifting Sonny into his arms and standing up. "I'll touch every star in the sky," he continued. Sonny blushed, realizing she'd never really heard his singing voice before. It was, simply put, one of most heart-stopping things she'd ever heard in her life.

"Chad, why do you know this song?" she questioned, smiling up at him as he placed her down on her feet.

Chad shrugged. "Just because I've never been to Disneyland before, doesn't mean I wasn't a kid once."

Sonny sighed happily as Chad took her hand in his, and placed his other hand carefully on her waist.

The pair danced slowly together, the bright carousel behind them emphasizing their silhouettes as they glided across the drawbridge. The music rang clearer and truer to Sonny than it ever had in her life.

_So this..._

_is..._

_love._


End file.
